Individual Counseling Archives | Rowlett Christian Counseling

Gift-Giving within a Blended Family

Gift-Giving within a Blended Family

Stephanie Kramer2024-12-20T12:52:20+00:00October 14th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Gift-giving during the holidays can be particularly challenging in a blended family. With varying established traditions and expectations from different households, children can become confused and receive mixed signals. Assumptions regarding established family customs may lead to potential misunderstandings. Here are some ways to help you keep your holiday season merry, bright, and drama-free. Communication is key in gift giving To avoid potential conflicts and ensure that everyone feels appreciated, establish clear communication with your partner and the exes involved regarding gift-giving budgets and expectations. Agree upon a reasonable spending limit for each child and discuss appropriate gifts, ensuring that no one feels overlooked. Start the conversation early so you have time to decide on the proper gifts well in advance to avoid any last-minute scramble. Coordinate with your ex to prevent duplicate gifts. Many families choose to give joint gifts to children from both parents and stepparents, with separate gifts given by the other parent and their partner. If there is a particular gift that you both want to give to your child, consider giving it jointly and sharing the expense. Some families cap the number of gifts each person receives or a budget they must stay within when purchasing gifts. Be mindful that your traditions and expectations might vary from that of your new family members. It’s best to have open communication about these expectations and decide early on how to approach gift-giving in the structure of your new family dynamics. Involve the children in gift giving Involve the children in the gift-giving process by encouraging them to create their gifts or choose gifts for each other. This will develop a sense of unity and allow them to express their understanding of each other’s interests. Personalized gifts, such as handmade crafts or thoughtful notes can carry more [...]

Comments Off

Biblical Comfort for Trauma

Biblical Comfort for Trauma

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:54:30+00:00August 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

From childhood, we are exposed to hardship and suffering. Many of us are affected in our adult lives by events and treatment we experienced as children. It is amid our anger, pain, and confusion, God offers words of comfort for trauma, as well as hope and healing. Comfort for Trauma Survivors The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV David had traumatic experiences well into his adult life. He wrote this particular Psalm after narrowly escaping a near-fatal situation with King Saul, a former mentor and once trusted friend. David constantly drew comfort from his connection to and understanding of God. He knew that God cared that he was suffering and that all he had to do was pour his heart out in the form of prayerful songs. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. – Isaiah 43:2, NIV God’s promise to the prophet Isaiah was not that He would be a bridge over the deep waters, but that He would be with Him beneath the waves, ensuring that he could endure them. God’s way of helping us through life is to be close to us in whatever situation we find ourselves in. If it is recovering from trauma, He gives us the inner strength to do just that. We are a little stronger and wiser when we reach the other side of that particular raging river. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7, NIV Sometimes the reason we don’t share our struggles and fears with the people closest to us is that we worry that they won’t be able to handle it. The [...]

Comments Off

The Effects of Over-Exercising on Your Mental Health

The Effects of Over-Exercising on Your Mental Health

Grace Mavindidze2024-09-27T10:57:10+00:00August 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

If the phrase over-exercising is new to you, I’m sure you’re wondering how you can tell if you’ve breached that fine line and what it has to do with your mental health. We live in a highly active society where we are constantly bombarded with messages about maintaining our physical health everywhere we turn. It seems as if every second advertisement that we see these days will include some “start your exercise now!” or “get fit fast!” tips. While there is no denying that exercise is great for us, it’s good for you to know where to draw the line between safe exercising and over-exercising before your workout regimes suck the life out of you physically and mentally. Rest is an important and often overlooked part of training that not only allows your body to recover for your next workout but also gives you an emotional reprieve from the constant stress exercising puts you through. Mental stress signs to look out for when exercising Pushing your body too hard for too long will always backfire and increase your stress levels. Physical signals that you are going beyond your limits are easier to pick up on than mental or emotional ones. It is obvious when you work out too much if you feel faint or suffer a physical injury, but mental red flags can be easily missed. Studies have shown that at times, over-exercising your body leads to overstimulation of nerves that regulate your heart rate, which can lead to increased stress levels or high anxiety. Signs that your mental health is suffering due to over-exercising include: Difficulty focusing or performing at work or school at your usual level after exercising. Feeling unmotivated, sad, or depressed after working out. Needing longer periods of rest than usual after your workouts. Constantly [...]

Comments Off

Scripture and the Soul Compass: Navigate Your Spiritual Development Journey With God’s Word

Scripture and the Soul Compass: Navigate Your Spiritual Development Journey With God’s Word

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T11:22:08+00:00June 29th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Modern advancements in almost every arena contrast what emerged as cutting-edge just years ago. God is a brilliant thinker and He created us in His Image, also with the cognitive capacity to imagine and invent. Even as everything in our world hastens at the speed of innovation, our Creator and Father whose genius orchestrates the universe, remains the same. He is not predictable, but rather constant in character. Faithfully, He keeps the covenant established with us, His chosen and called daughters and sons. What society calls truth is ever-changing. It may not be surprising, but where our world destabilizes, tilting from one extreme to the next, only the Word of God anchors us in absolute Truth. More than an assortment of facts, the Truth is the comprehensive revelation of who Jesus is and the Word that the Father speaks. The chaos and cacophony of multiple voices bring confusion amongst personal and relative truths that vie for our attention. Yet, Jesus always beckons, welcoming us to enter rest where we rely on His consistency, clarity, and compassion to be the compass that navigates our way Home. As the Truth, God’s Word is faithful to inform our desires, decisions, and dreams. The light of Scripture will locate us and divulge where we are, but it will not leave us in dark or low places. More than a collection of words in black and red on a page or an electronic screen, the Word of God is the Person of Jesus Christ (John 1:14). We not only read about our Savior, but to a greater degree, He reads us. He reveals where we are, the destination that He wants to take us, and the direction in which He wants to lead. The Word Divides The Word divides the soul from the spirit [...]

Comments Off

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T11:22:17+00:00May 23rd, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Misunderstanding creates an opening for the enemy. We hold others captive, locking them into words and actions said and done in a moment of haste. In these instances, the pain remains. It is the reality of living among other imperfect people in a flawed and fallen world. While anger is not a sin, holding anger that is not aligned with the Father’s Heart can cause more pain. This anger is too hot to handle and therefore, dangerous to our heart condition. When we hold anger, fear and pride bully us into silence. We don’t speak up to initiate the kind of heartfelt communication that leads to peace, freedom, and sometimes, reconciliation. Until our hearts find a resolution, we may nurse revenge fantasies, dreaming of opportunities to best those who injured us. Instead of affirming the personal value that was underestimated or overlooked, we seek to prove our worth. Our hearts expose that we have unknowingly created an idol by focusing more on the other person than focusing on who God has been to us and what He has done. Sometimes, we believe that we have moved on from an incident, yet we punish those closest to us for what someone else has done. The name, face, or circumstance may be different, but something familiar triggers. It keeps us entrenched in an old cycle. We lash out at those near to us now, but in truth, our anger is toward the one who first hurt us. It may seem impossible and unlikely, but forgiveness will help us to disintegrate the stronghold that unresolved anger wields. When we withhold forgiveness, we deny our freedom. We insist on being the judge of justice in a situation that elevates our pain above Jesus. In commanding us to forgive, God isn’t denying what was [...]

Comments Off

Finding Support When Getting a Divorce: Practical and Emotional Steps

Finding Support When Getting a Divorce: Practical and Emotional Steps

Caitlin Mallery2024-09-27T10:56:57+00:00May 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Going through a divorce is a difficult process, both emotionally and practically. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and some people can help you through this. This article will provide you with a roadmap for getting a divorce, from the practical steps to the emotional ones. It’s important to take things one step at a time and to be patient with yourself as you go through this process. Practical steps Separating households will involve several categories, and some things will vary by state. Looking up what your state requires is a good first step. Some local courts provide information packets that can get you started. Here are a few more broad checklists of things you need to separate. Financial Bank accounts. Retirement accounts. Tax records and documents. Financial records. Housing (rent or mortgage). Car insurance and payments. Utility accounts. After separation, you may need to create new accounts and passwords. Obtaining a copy of your credit report would be prudent. A financial advisor can provide valuable guidance in creating a budget and navigating this new phase. Personal Medical insurance. Itemized list of belongings: jewelry, tools, furniture, electronics, photos, books, etc. Mailing address. Birth certificate, marriage license. In the process of separating personal belongings, emotions can run high. It is crucial to approach this task with a focus on preserving what is truly valuable to you, rather than seeking ways to inflict pain on your former partner. When sorting through the smaller, more personal items, each individual’s situation will influence the ease or complexity of the task. Legal When getting a divorce, there are some legal considerations that you need to be aware of. These include: Property division This refers to the division of all assets and debts that were acquired during the marriage. It is important to [...]

Comments Off

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T11:22:27+00:00April 18th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When the people we love are hurting, that can activate our protective instincts. We wish we could shield them from the ugliness of the world. We want to cushion them against pain. This is true whether it relates to a parent, sibling, child, friend, or other loved one. Of the various sources of pain out there, one of the most difficult to go through is a breakup. Breakups and their effects Romantic relationships can be rich and joyful experiences, but they can also be nightmares. Some relationships are unhealthy, and their drawing to a close can be considered a blessing. An example of this is when a relationship is abusive, whether that’s emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. It may be healthier for that relationship to end than to carry on. That being said, relationships are complicated, and even in the worst ones, there is some good in it. Losing that relationship is a source of grief, which can have physical, mental, and emotional effects on a person. While it may be tempting to force your friend who has just gone through a breakup to go out and have fun, remember that they are grieving. Celebrating may not be the appropriate thing in that moment. A breakup can have a wide-ranging impact on a person. Unfortunately, the thought of living without the relationship may cause some to ponder thoughts of death or suicide. The person may likewise feel worthless or like a failure. They may be distracted, have poor concentration, and little motivation to get things done or engage in what was previously enjoyable. Guilt, anger, and frustration may ravage the heart and mind of your loved one. All this emotional impact can manifest physically. Body aches, headaches, and stomach problems can begin. Your person may have changes in appetite, [...]

Comments Off

Self-Improvement Tips to Get You Started

Self-Improvement Tips to Get You Started

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:56:34+00:00February 8th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

To grow as a person, you need to improve. Jim Rohn, an American motivational public speaker used to say, “Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” If you want to change your life, you must change yourself. This means self-improvement of thoughts, behaviors, and skills. Self-improvement tips to get you started. Eat better. Eating better has less to do with maintaining a healthy weight (although that is encouraged for physical health) and more about the mental aspects of consuming nutritious foods. Food full of preservatives, dyes, and chemicals can leave you lethargic. You do not think as well when you consume foods that trigger inflammation. Train your body. Physical fitness is the foundation of self-improvement. If you are physically sick, your other work will suffer. Your relationships suffer when you cannot physically do what you want. Stop thinking of exercise as working out. Instead, think of it as training to do God’s work. You must be strong, balanced, and flexible to do many required tasks. Even if you have a desk job, you need your heart and lungs to be in excellent health so that you do not succumb to cardiorespiratory illnesses from less movement. Train your body and consider it a temple for the Holy Spirit. Make rest a priority. Much of our culture values hustle. We are told that if we give 110%, then we will see results. Although this is true, God created us with a need for rest. We can give our best effort, but we need to set aside time to rest. In the Bible, God commanded the people to take the Sabbath as a day of rest. This was not just to spend the day worshipping God and fellowshipping with one another. It was also to force the [...]

Comments Off

How to Forgive Someone When It Seems Impossible

How to Forgive Someone When It Seems Impossible

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T11:22:44+00:00January 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

As much as we would prefer it otherwise, our relationships are marked with conflict, pain, unresolved tensions, and irreconcilable differences. These may be difficult to trace to their source in some instances. In other cases, we know all too well why the relationship has suffered damage but we don't always know how to forgive. When a relationship is broken, or when another person hurts you, there are a few choices for what you can do in response. One of those choices is to forgive them. If we’re honest with ourselves, that often isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Our impulses might direct us toward getting our own back somehow, even if that’s just something we fantasize about and don’t put into action. Forgiveness is complicated and hard to offer, but it matters immensely. How to forgive: Remembering why forgiveness matters. There are several key ingredients to functional relationships. One of them is good communication and another is forgiveness. Forgiveness makes this list because it’s inevitable that we will cause injury to others that we’re close to. It could be entirely unintentional and the result of miscommunication or a misunderstanding, but it can also be deliberate. Regardless, forgiveness is an effective way to deal with that hurt. Remembering why forgiveness matters, and what forgiveness is can help motivate us toward it. A few things to consider include the following: It’s the right thing to do. From a Christian perspective, forgiveness is the right thing to do. God has forgiven us our many sins, choosing to set aside what we have done and moving toward us to bless us. That is why there are several directives to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 6: 12-15, 18: 15-35; Ephesians 4: 32; Colossians 3: 13). We are simply treating [...]

Comments Off

How to Have a Healthy Attachment Style

How to Have a Healthy Attachment Style

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T11:03:38+00:00December 21st, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You might have heard of “attachment parenting” or “attachment style” in everyday conversations, on social media, or in pop culture. Attachment theory has become a hot topic because it provides key insights into how caregiver relationships in childhood affect adult relationships. Keep reading to learn more about attachment theory, the four styles of attachment, and how you can move to a healthy attachment style. What is a healthy attachment style? Attachment theory provides the basis for understanding the four attachment styles. John Bowlby developed attachment theory in the mid-twentieth century. He researched how early childhood experiences affected both child development and adult behavior. Bowlby defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.” He devoted a great deal of attention and research to the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers. Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles: 1) secure, 2) anxious, 3) avoidant, and 4) disorganized. Secure attachment involves “feelings of trust and safety in relationships” (Simply Psychology). Anxious (or anxious-insecure) attachment can outwardly manifest as insecure or stereotypically “needy” behavior. Avoidant (or avoidant-insecure) attachment often shows up as emotional disconnection and overindependence. Disorganized (or disorganized-insecure) attachment is characterized by unpredictable and inconsistent behavior, such as being loving sometimes and lashing out in anger at others. Secure attachment is the healthy attachment style. Infants and children who have their needs met by responsive caregivers usually develop secure attachment. Other life experiences can also impact how attachment styles develop. How to have a healthy attachment style. Considering your attachment style provides a first step in the right direction! Self-reflection and self-awareness are vital components of personal growth. It is more than possible to move from insecure attachment to a healthy attachment style. On the other hand, it’s not possible to control all of our relationships and circumstances so [...]

Comments Off

12 Next

Individual Counseling

CONTACT INFO

Rowlett Christian Counseling

ABOUT US