Is it difficult for you to find ways to manage anger? Does it sometimes seem like anger is managing you? You have the power to learn how to manage anger, and you can get help by meeting with a Christian counselor.

Why it is Important to Manage Anger

You probably already understand why it is important to manage anger. Out-of-control anger costs you much in your relationships at home, work, and other places. You may know that your anger costs you but have yet to learn how to manage it well. Still, you may seek help because your anger has caused damage and distance in your relationships.

You may be able to see evidence that anger is costing you in terms of relationships. But you may not see the damage it is doing to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. In these ways, anger exacts a high price.

The mental price for anger can be a lack of concentration or obsessive thoughts linked to the source of your anger. the emotional price for your anger may be an inability to empathize with others and a lack of self-control. When left untreated, anger can morph into depression, which exacts an even higher price on your mental and emotional well-being.

The physical price of anger can manifest in many ways. Anger may be causing you to experience insomnia, rapid heartbeats, raised blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, immune system disorders, skin issues, weight gain or loss, and other problems. Unchecked anger can also lead to serious problems like stroke or heart disease. anger seeks an outlet, and if you do not deal with it properly, it will show up in your body.

The spiritual price of anger can be a distance in your relationship with God. You may act out in anger and feel guilty before God, or even blame him for what makes you angry. The truth is that God gives us anger as a warning signal to deal with underlying problems like hurt, fear, frustration, or unfairness. God is not afraid of our anger, and he wants us to learn how to handle it in healthy ways.

You can learn how to manage anger, so it no longer harms your mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual health. A Christian counselor can help you address how anger is impacting you and others in your life, then learn how to control it with God’s help.

Understanding the Roots of Anger

The roots of anger often run back to our childhood. Most people never learned how to process anger in a healthy way. Instead, you likely learned to either explode with anger, sweep anger under the rug, or let it leak out through passive aggression. These are the most common ways families deal with anger, although none of them are healthy.

To truly learn to manage anger, you will need to unpack it at the root level. But that is difficult to do on your own. A qualified Christian counselor can help you dig up the roots of your anger, then sort out the reasons that you feel angry today. Once you can name and process all the parts of your anger, they will no longer have power over your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Five Scriptures About Anger

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.. – Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV

The Bible never says that we cannot be angry. But it does tell us that we do not have to pair anger with sin. We need to process our anger quickly, so it does not get a hold of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. A Christian counselor can help you understand what matters you can keep between you and God when you are angry and which ones you need to confront in another person.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. – Micah 7:18, NIV

God gets angry when his people turn away from him. But he does not stay angry forever, and neither should we. When we hold on to anger it turns into bitterness and resentment, which only punishes us. Instead, God can help us show mercy to those who have hurt us and forgive the wrongs that they have committed against us. This will help free us from anger.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. – Ephesians 4:31, NIV

Anger always opens one up to the danger of other sins such as slander, shouting, bitterness, and wrath. It can even turn into malice, which is an especially difficult feeling since it seeks to harm others. That is why we need to remove anger as soon as possible so it does not attract other sins. When you learn to identify your triggers, you can manage anger in healthier ways.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20, NIV

If you have a short temper this verse can keep you on the right track. God wants you to be slow to anger and you can do this by being quick to listen and slow to speak. As you work on your listening skills and think before you speak, you can start defusing your anger. As you apply the principles in this verse over and over, you will be on the track of righteousness God wants for you.

4 Ways to Manage Anger

These four tips will help you get a handle on your anger.

1. Study the ways of God.

God has many reasons to be angry with us because we sin against him every day. But his grace covers all your sins, and he has decided to love and forgive you instead of being constantly angry about your sins.

God is slow to anger, leaving room for us to grow and mature. He forgives us at every turn, giving us chance after chance to repent. You can do the same when you feel angry with others. Remember that others need grace from you, and when you grant them forgiveness, you set them free.

2. Work on becoming more patient.

Since we live in a world that is so fast-paced, it is easy to feel angry when situations do not happen as fast as we would like. You may feel frustrated daily
if you are on a fast-moving track. But when you become more patient, you can avoid getting angry so quickly about unimportant things.

3. Be wise when confronting others.

Confrontation is sometimes necessary, but it can go wrong if anger is in the mix. A Christian counselor can help you learn how to be wise when confronting others. A wise confrontation can result in peace rather than division. Many people benefit from receiving coaching on their confrontation skills by meeting with a counselor, and you can experience this benefit as well.

4. Take intentional steps when you are triggered.

In heated moments, you can take intentional steps to manage anger. Ideas include taking deep breaths, counting to twenty, taking a break for a few moments, taking a walk, screaming into a pillow, or punching something soft and unbreakable.

It is especially important to manage your words when you are angry. Do not say the first thing that you are thinking. Instead, respond with self-control by thinking first. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to help the other person feel less defensive. A counselor can also brainstorm other ideas to help you manage your anger triggers.

How to Manage Anger Issues

You are not alone in needing help to manage anger. Most people did not learn how to control their anger in their childhood, but it is not too late to learn healthier ways of expressing your anger. When you meet with a Christian counselor, you can learn how to manage your anger, heal your relationships, and live a more peaceful life. Contact us today to learn how a Christian counselor can help you manage anger issues.

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