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Divine Desires: Strategies for Singles to Dethrone Shame

2024-12-05T17:23:02+00:00November 29th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Movies, media, and memes have jested about the plight of the single protagonist left to the mercy of prying, though well-meaning family. Whether seated around the holiday table or enjoying a barbecue with friends and family, unmarried relatives are targeted, cornered, and interrogated. In a society that glorifies couples, tension surfaces when others offer unsolicited opinions about our romantic life as singles. Our holistic needs and concerns seem minimized in relation to those of our married counterparts. For those of us whose single life has been imposed by spousal death or divorce, extended due to education, career, or not yet finding a match, those feelings of exclusion also creep from culture into the churches where we fellowship. Our leaders may mean well, but they may not have experienced widowhood, divorce, or an extended period of singleness. They may lack empathy, insight, or feel insufficiently equipped to teach or offer programming that addresses singles’ raw needs. Outreach and events for a variety of subgroups get spotlighted, but singles are seated at the “kid’s table” of ministry, often lumped with those whose demographics and needs may vastly differ. Between later marriages and climbing divorce rates, unmarried believers comprise a significant portion of our congregations, but ministry has not necessarily adapted with the change. The church has room to grow in how it engages, disciples, and serves singles as valued and integral parts of the body of Christ. Dueling Desires For singles, navigating desire is at the core of many external and internal conversations, whether public or private, secular, or spiritual. Enter the contrasting narratives. The world clamors endlessly about sex, but by contrast, the church seems curiously silent. We need strategies in how to walk out our single state, desiring God, and fulfillment in all the ways we are created. The [...]

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Gift-Giving within a Blended Family

2024-10-18T13:49:00+00:00October 14th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Gift-giving during the holidays can be particularly challenging in a blended family. With varying established traditions and expectations from different households, children can become confused and receive mixed signals. Assumptions regarding established family customs may lead to potential misunderstandings. Here are some ways to help you keep your holiday season merry, bright, and drama-free. Communication is key in gift giving To avoid potential conflicts and ensure that everyone feels appreciated, establish clear communication with your partner and the exes involved regarding gift-giving budgets and expectations. Agree upon a reasonable spending limit for each child and discuss appropriate gifts, ensuring that no one feels overlooked. Start the conversation early so you have time to decide on the proper gifts well in advance to avoid any last-minute scramble. Coordinate with your ex to prevent duplicate gifts. Many families choose to give joint gifts to children from both parents and stepparents, with separate gifts given by the other parent and their partner. If there is a particular gift that you both want to give to your child, consider giving it jointly and sharing the expense. Some families cap the number of gifts each person receives or a budget they must stay within when purchasing gifts. Be mindful that your traditions and expectations might vary from that of your new family members. It’s best to have open communication about these expectations and decide early on how to approach gift-giving in the structure of your new family dynamics. Involve the children in gift giving Involve the children in the gift-giving process by encouraging them to create their gifts or choose gifts for each other. This will develop a sense of unity and allow them to express their understanding of each other’s interests. Personalized gifts, such as handmade crafts or thoughtful notes can carry more [...]

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8 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

2024-10-09T20:24:20+00:00September 30th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Toxic relationships are unhealthy and can undermine your physical, emotional, and mental health. Yet, many of us caught in this type of union have no idea that the relationship is not normal or healthy. We are too close to see the signs of a toxic relationship objectively. If it was your best friend involved with someone who constantly criticized, gaslighted, or betrayed them, you might be the first to speak up. However, it is time to uncover the truth and take a good look at your own relationship. Eight signs of a toxic relationship The signs of a toxic relationship are there, but it is true what they say, “love is blind.” It is as if we walk around with blinders. When we notice a sign, we may second guess our intuition, allowing self-doubt and the fear of overreacting to keep us from distancing ourselves. Instead of settling, consider the following eight signs of a toxic relationship and compare the behaviors to your partner’s actions. If they ring true, you must decide whether to pursue the relationship (possibly with counseling) or find your own path. You cannot trust your partner Betrayal comes in many forms, but the underlying theme is that you cannot trust your partner. It may be that they say they are going to be somewhere but never show repeatedly. Or it could be that they have betrayed you through infidelity or made terrible financial decisions behind your back. Often, people are repeat offenders, trying to behave to stay in your good graces until an opportunity presents itself that is too tempting. Once trust is broken, it is hard to regain. Even after weeks, months, and years, the emotional scars from betrayal may still be there. People can change their behaviors with God’s help if they repent [...]

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Biblical Comfort for Trauma

2024-09-27T10:54:30+00:00August 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

From childhood, we are exposed to hardship and suffering. Many of us are affected in our adult lives by events and treatment we experienced as children. It is amid our anger, pain, and confusion, God offers words of comfort for trauma, as well as hope and healing. Comfort for Trauma Survivors The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV David had traumatic experiences well into his adult life. He wrote this particular Psalm after narrowly escaping a near-fatal situation with King Saul, a former mentor and once trusted friend. David constantly drew comfort from his connection to and understanding of God. He knew that God cared that he was suffering and that all he had to do was pour his heart out in the form of prayerful songs. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. – Isaiah 43:2, NIV God’s promise to the prophet Isaiah was not that He would be a bridge over the deep waters, but that He would be with Him beneath the waves, ensuring that he could endure them. God’s way of helping us through life is to be close to us in whatever situation we find ourselves in. If it is recovering from trauma, He gives us the inner strength to do just that. We are a little stronger and wiser when we reach the other side of that particular raging river. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7, NIV Sometimes the reason we don’t share our struggles and fears with the people closest to us is that we worry that they won’t be able to handle it. The [...]

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The Effects of Over-Exercising on Your Mental Health

2024-09-27T10:57:10+00:00August 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

If the phrase over-exercising is new to you, I’m sure you’re wondering how you can tell if you’ve breached that fine line and what it has to do with your mental health. We live in a highly active society where we are constantly bombarded with messages about maintaining our physical health everywhere we turn. It seems as if every second advertisement that we see these days will include some “start your exercise now!” or “get fit fast!” tips. While there is no denying that exercise is great for us, it’s good for you to know where to draw the line between safe exercising and over-exercising before your workout regimes suck the life out of you physically and mentally. Rest is an important and often overlooked part of training that not only allows your body to recover for your next workout but also gives you an emotional reprieve from the constant stress exercising puts you through. Mental stress signs to look out for when exercising Pushing your body too hard for too long will always backfire and increase your stress levels. Physical signals that you are going beyond your limits are easier to pick up on than mental or emotional ones. It is obvious when you work out too much if you feel faint or suffer a physical injury, but mental red flags can be easily missed. Studies have shown that at times, over-exercising your body leads to overstimulation of nerves that regulate your heart rate, which can lead to increased stress levels or high anxiety. Signs that your mental health is suffering due to over-exercising include: Difficulty focusing or performing at work or school at your usual level after exercising. Feeling unmotivated, sad, or depressed after working out. Needing longer periods of rest than usual after your workouts. Constantly [...]

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The Benefits of Post-Adoption Counseling

2024-10-29T11:24:25+00:00July 31st, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Welcoming a new child into a family changes that family irrevocably, in amazing and often unforeseen ways. It’s a big decision and likely one of the most important decisions you will ever make. By the time your adopted child is officially home, you’ve filled out countless forms, had many meetings with the adoption agency, and are more than eager to start your journey as a family, so post-adoption counseling is probably furthest from your mind. Parenting, whether by adoption or otherwise, is a lifelong commitment with unique challenges that need to be overcome creatively. Every family’s adoption journey is unique, but finding post-adoption support can help you thrive as a family. That could be in the form of an adoption support group, as well as podcasts and other online resources that can help you with tips. Likewise, an adoptive family can make use of individual therapeutic counseling. Post-adoption counseling: The basics A family that’s adopted or is still considering adopting can approach a counselor with expertise and experience in family counseling services which deal particularly with adopted children. Whether your adoptive children are older or young, there are therapeutic approaches that are appropriate to different age groups, and your counselor will know how best to work with them. Your counselor may meet with the parents alone, the child alone, or the family as a whole, depending on the circumstances. The sessions would be for around an hour, and there may be several sessions depending on what is being addressed. Counseling aims to address common issues that arise in adoptive families, including understanding how to build a cohesive family and effectively parent in a loving way. Benefits of family post-adoption counseling After you’ve adopted, the journey has just begun. It can be daunting to begin the day-to-day task of parenting [...]

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3 Coping Mechanisms for Children with ADHD

2024-09-27T10:55:10+00:00July 11th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

If you’re a parent with a child who’s been recently diagnosed with ADHD, it can feel overwhelming to learn how to help a child cope with everyday life. ADHD impacts every area of a child’s life. From completing homework assignments to interacting with their peers, ADHD is a disorder that affects a child’s mental and emotional health as well as their relationships. 3 Coping Mechanisms for Children with ADHD Are you struggling to know how to help your child perform better in school or at home? Here are three coping mechanisms for children with ADHD: 1. Break things down One of the symptoms of ADHD is that they become easily overwhelmed. They begin their school day or homework intending to complete it on time, only to go down a rabbit hole of phone time or other distractions that make it nearly impossible for them to complete their homework. Additionally, a child can complete his or her homework, only to leave it in their backpack the next day and never turn it in to their teacher. This can cause a student to get failing grades even when the work has been done and is correct. The best way to cope with this is to break things down into chunks. When the child comes home, ask them if they have homework. If they say no, check their backpack. If they do have homework, encourage them to complete their homework before any other fun activities – including sports – are completed. Set the example that work needs to be completed first before anything else. If a child has more than one or two homework assignments, help them prioritize by asking them to complete the hardest one first. For example, if your child struggles in Math, you can ask them to finish the [...]

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Scripture and the Soul Compass: Navigate Your Spiritual Development Journey With God’s Word

2024-10-29T11:22:08+00:00June 29th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Modern advancements in almost every arena contrast what emerged as cutting-edge just years ago. God is a brilliant thinker and He created us in His Image, also with the cognitive capacity to imagine and invent. Even as everything in our world hastens at the speed of innovation, our Creator and Father whose genius orchestrates the universe, remains the same. He is not predictable, but rather constant in character. Faithfully, He keeps the covenant established with us, His chosen and called daughters and sons. What society calls truth is ever-changing. It may not be surprising, but where our world destabilizes, tilting from one extreme to the next, only the Word of God anchors us in absolute Truth. More than an assortment of facts, the Truth is the comprehensive revelation of who Jesus is and the Word that the Father speaks. The chaos and cacophony of multiple voices bring confusion amongst personal and relative truths that vie for our attention. Yet, Jesus always beckons, welcoming us to enter rest where we rely on His consistency, clarity, and compassion to be the compass that navigates our way Home. As the Truth, God’s Word is faithful to inform our desires, decisions, and dreams. The light of Scripture will locate us and divulge where we are, but it will not leave us in dark or low places. More than a collection of words in black and red on a page or an electronic screen, the Word of God is the Person of Jesus Christ (John 1:14). We not only read about our Savior, but to a greater degree, He reads us. He reveals where we are, the destination that He wants to take us, and the direction in which He wants to lead. The Word Divides The Word divides the soul from the spirit [...]

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Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

2024-10-29T11:22:17+00:00May 23rd, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Misunderstanding creates an opening for the enemy. We hold others captive, locking them into words and actions said and done in a moment of haste. In these instances, the pain remains. It is the reality of living among other imperfect people in a flawed and fallen world. While anger is not a sin, holding anger that is not aligned with the Father’s Heart can cause more pain. This anger is too hot to handle and therefore, dangerous to our heart condition. When we hold anger, fear and pride bully us into silence. We don’t speak up to initiate the kind of heartfelt communication that leads to peace, freedom, and sometimes, reconciliation. Until our hearts find a resolution, we may nurse revenge fantasies, dreaming of opportunities to best those who injured us. Instead of affirming the personal value that was underestimated or overlooked, we seek to prove our worth. Our hearts expose that we have unknowingly created an idol by focusing more on the other person than focusing on who God has been to us and what He has done. Sometimes, we believe that we have moved on from an incident, yet we punish those closest to us for what someone else has done. The name, face, or circumstance may be different, but something familiar triggers. It keeps us entrenched in an old cycle. We lash out at those near to us now, but in truth, our anger is toward the one who first hurt us. It may seem impossible and unlikely, but forgiveness will help us to disintegrate the stronghold that unresolved anger wields. When we withhold forgiveness, we deny our freedom. We insist on being the judge of justice in a situation that elevates our pain above Jesus. In commanding us to forgive, God isn’t denying what was [...]

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Finding Support When Getting a Divorce: Practical and Emotional Steps

2024-09-27T10:56:57+00:00May 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Going through a divorce is a difficult process, both emotionally and practically. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and some people can help you through this. This article will provide you with a roadmap for getting a divorce, from the practical steps to the emotional ones. It’s important to take things one step at a time and to be patient with yourself as you go through this process. Practical steps Separating households will involve several categories, and some things will vary by state. Looking up what your state requires is a good first step. Some local courts provide information packets that can get you started. Here are a few more broad checklists of things you need to separate. Financial Bank accounts. Retirement accounts. Tax records and documents. Financial records. Housing (rent or mortgage). Car insurance and payments. Utility accounts. After separation, you may need to create new accounts and passwords. Obtaining a copy of your credit report would be prudent. A financial advisor can provide valuable guidance in creating a budget and navigating this new phase. Personal Medical insurance. Itemized list of belongings: jewelry, tools, furniture, electronics, photos, books, etc. Mailing address. Birth certificate, marriage license. In the process of separating personal belongings, emotions can run high. It is crucial to approach this task with a focus on preserving what is truly valuable to you, rather than seeking ways to inflict pain on your former partner. When sorting through the smaller, more personal items, each individual’s situation will influence the ease or complexity of the task. Legal When getting a divorce, there are some legal considerations that you need to be aware of. These include: Property division This refers to the division of all assets and debts that were acquired during the marriage. It is important to [...]

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