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5 “As” for Dealing with Resentment in Marriage

5 “As” for Dealing with Resentment in Marriage

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-07-07T06:31:24+00:00July 7th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A perfect marriage does not exist. Some marriages are struggling, some are flourishing and healthy, some are dysfunctional, characterized by resentment, and some are happy. But perfect marriages – meaning marriages where there are no issues and all needs and expectations are met as desired – are quite likely an ideal that is rarely, if ever, realized. In any given marriage, there are two people with distinct personalities, needs, stresses, gifts, and abilities. Even with the best of intentions, two such imperfect people are bound to offend one another, either through what they do or what they leave undone. When that happens, the couple can deal with it in ways that bring life to the marriage, or they can address it in ways that spark anger and cause the situation to spiral further downward. Resentment is one of the sentiments that can take root in a marriage and undermine its health. Dealing with it swiftly and decisively is one of the best things you can do to help you and your spouse toward a happier marriage. What is resentment? Resentment is the feeling of anger or indignation that often results when a person is treated unfairly, taken advantage of, or emotionally wounded in any other way. It is a complex and multilayered emotion that combines disappointment, disgust, and anger. Resentment can set in after a single incident, but it often takes root after a pattern of behavior emerges. Resentment often compounds over time. When we feel resentful toward a person, it can present in a variety of ways. It could look like us pretending to be happy and smiling at them to cover our true feelings toward them, or it manifests in speaking in a sarcastic or demeaning way to or about the person we feel resentful toward. What can [...]

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Helping Children Fit Into a Blended Family

Helping Children Fit Into a Blended Family

Melissa Plantz2026-07-03T05:59:58+00:00July 3rd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Blended families can be an adjustment, especially for children. Watching a parent remarry and then living with a new stepparent, and possibly their children, is a tough transition. Fitting into a blended family can feel impossible for a child. It takes patience, grace, and some new routines to help children adapt to a blended family. Tips for Helping Your Child Fit into a Blended Family The wedding and moving in of a new stepparent (and stepsiblings) can leave a child reeling. A blended family can take on many forms, but often includes a mother or father (who has a child or children) marrying another person, who may or may not have children of their own. Two families become one on the wedding day on paper, but the reality is that the adjustment can take much longer. Learning to overlook personality clashes, establish new rules, and form bonds will take time and patience. Be willing to do the work. It will be worth it in the end. Try to work with the ex Although your ex is probably the ex for a reason, if you can work together for the sake of your child, everyone will be better off. Whether the ex is your ex-spouse or your new partner’s ex, learning to coexist and work around schedules will help. If the ex is amenable, try to establish similar rules to keep the children in sync. For example, have a similar bedtime throughout the week for the children. Get on the same page with the new spouse If you are not on the same page with your new spouse, all your effort will feel like blowing into the wind. Discuss matters before they come up, such as discipline, punishments, rewards, rules, and boundaries. Children of different ages require different responsibilities and [...]

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The Drive to Stay Busy: A Sign of Feeling Anxious About Being Alone With Your Thoughts?

The Drive to Stay Busy: A Sign of Feeling Anxious About Being Alone With Your Thoughts?

Grace Mavindidze2026-06-30T05:34:03+00:00June 30th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Some people feel anxious when things go wrong. Others feel anxious when things go quiet. If you’re someone who fills every gap in your day with tasks, errands, or distractions, it’s worth asking why. Think about the last time you had nothing to do. Did you relax, or did you reach for something to fill the space? If the idea of being alone with your thoughts makes you uneasy, staying busy might be your way of coping. Feeling anxious about what might surface when you’re alone with your thoughts is more common than people admit, and it’s one reason the hustle never stops. Why This Pattern Becomes a Problem Filling every hour with tasks may seem harmless enough, but it’s not if it keeps you from processing emotions that need attention. When you avoid quiet reflection, you miss the chance to understand what’s driving your stress. Instead of finding peace, you train yourself to depend on activity as a shield. Over time, this habit can leave you drained, disconnected from yourself, and unsure why you’re restless even when everything looks productive on the outside. Signs that your busyness is covering up anxiety You feel uneasy when there’s nothing scheduled, so you quickly add something to do. You keep multitasking even when one task would be enough. You struggle to relax without checking your phone or planning the next step. You avoid sitting alone because it makes you feel anxious about what you might think or feel. Such reactions may not just be your quirks, but could be signals that constant activity is being used as a coping mechanism. When you’re constantly busy, it doesn’t only affect you. It changes how you connect with others. You may find yourself distracted in conversations, rushing through interactions, or feeling guilty when you’re [...]

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Navigating Couples Counseling for Infidelity and Betrayal

Navigating Couples Counseling for Infidelity and Betrayal

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-05-19T06:12:57+00:00May 19th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is something delightful about having a romantic partner or spouse. They and their affections are all rightfully, delightfully yours. This reality can be disrupted by infidelity, and one way to try to recover what was lost is through couples counseling for infidelity. When infidelity occurs, it can feel like your world has collapsed in on itself. It’s a devastating breach of trust that shakes the foundation of a marriage. It is possible to face this painful reality with compassion, honesty, and the desire to restore the relationship where that’s possible. Couples counseling for infidelity can be an important tool in discerning where your relationship stands and in finding healing. Infidelity: What It Is and Isn’t Romantic relationships can be quite complicated in our culture and context. There are open marriages, relationships with three or more individuals in them, others who consider themselves ethically polyamorous, and more. This makes the relationship landscape difficult to navigate, and it seems to also shift the definition of infidelity. The ideal relationship in Scripture is faithfulness to one partner of the opposite sex. As there are different types of relationships out there, it’s hard to come up with one definition of infidelity that fits them all. However, it’s helpful to have something to work with. The term “infidelity” stems from the Latin word meaning “unfaithfulness,” suggesting that it involves more than merely emotional or sexual involvement with someone outside the relationship. Unfaithfulness also entails betrayal, which is a breach of trust that shatters one’s previous understanding about their partner and their union. Common forms of betrayal include hidden alcoholism, gambling, chronic deception, financial secrecy, or other concealed behaviors that violate the expectations and safety of the relationship. In many cases, the majority of the recovery work following infidelity centers not merely on the [...]

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6 Tips for Recovering from Codependency

6 Tips for Recovering from Codependency

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-05-13T06:28:45+00:00May 13th, 2026|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the most challenging things to do is to break or form a new habit because the patterns we’re already used to feel familiar, even when they aren’t helpful to us. Learning new patterns means stepping out of our comfort zone and into what might be a steep learning curve. Recovering from codependency can be understood as breaking away from a particular set of unhealthy relationship habits and moving toward emotional and mental well-being. The Need for Recovery from Codependency It takes time for a person to recover from codependency. It’s a gradual process that requires growing one’s self-awareness, finding emotional healing, and learning how to set healthy boundaries. Before we can do that, though, it’s helpful to understand what codependency is and why there’s a need to recover from it. Codependency is a term that refers to a pattern of behavior where a person’s sense of self-worth and emotional well-being are tied to, or heavily dependent upon, the needs, approval, or behaviors of others. The codependent person will often do this at their own expense, damaging their well-being and even their own sense of identity. This highlights just a few of the reasons why recovery from codependency is necessary. Constantly prioritizing others and their needs can leave a person uncertain of what they want or who they are. That loss of self-identity can be quite damaging for your well-being, because without a strong sense of self, it’s hard to make decisions, emotionally regulate yourself, and remain stable. Codependency can often keep people stuck in unhealthy relationships. These relationships can range from being imbalanced to being outright toxic. Still, the codependent individual will stay in such relationships, to their detriment. By spending an inordinate amount of time and energy on others’ needs, personal growth and well-being are stunted. [...]

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Finding Healing and Home Through Family Counseling

Finding Healing and Home Through Family Counseling

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T13:06:29+00:00May 1st, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

A family can be many things to a person. For many people, their family is where they had their most formative experiences that shaped their outlook on life. Family, for some, is a place of warmth, acceptance, growth, and freedom to learn. For others, family is none of these things, and perhaps it is more of a cautionary tale for their own lives and ambitions. Whatever your experience with family, there is no denying that family plays a role in one’s well-being, whether a positive and nurturing one or a dysfunctional one that needs self-care and unlearning of unhealthy habits. If your family has experienced some problems and is not the place of nurture and safety that you would want it to be, family counseling can be a significant help. What is family counseling? As tempting as it is to blame the teen, the dad, or the mom, there’s rarely a single “culprit” who is responsible for the problems in the family. More often, they emerge from the way everyone relates to one another over time. That’s why focusing only on one person can be inefficient and can end up costing more time, energy, and money. Family counseling offers a focused, powerful way to address the patterns at the heart of what your family is experiencing. Family counseling is a form of group psychotherapy, or group talk therapy, which is designed to help a family improve its dynamics and the relationships in the family. The goal is to uncover and address the relationship patterns that are weighing your family down. If every conflict feels like the same old fight on repeat, your family might be stuck in an unhelpful pattern. Family counseling works on the assumption that the family functions as an interdependent system, with family members interacting with [...]

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Christian Advice for Newlyweds

Christian Advice for Newlyweds

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-04-01T06:30:01+00:00April 1st, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

As a Christian, you may or may not have been offered marriage counseling before the wedding. Some pastors require premarital counseling, while others only offer their services if you encounter an issue. The problem with waiting until there is a problem is that you are not equipped to handle it, turning a minor disagreement into a major deal breaker. Seeking Christian marriage advice at any stage of your marriage can help keep the communication lines open and retain trust. Tips for the Newly Married A Christian marriage is the visible manifestation of the invisible reality of God’s love for the church. This beautiful vision comes with weighty responsibilities and challenges. How can a man and a woman come together to reflect the divine mystery? What life should they lead to tell God’s love story through their love story? The truth is, we fall short more often than we would like to admit. Amidst the busyness and demands of married life, it is easy to lose track of the beautiful vision for marriage that the Bible presents. However, married couples need not endure this crucible alone. By seeking advice for newlyweds from other married Christians or Christian counselors who can meld psychology with faith-based principles, they can increase the likelihood that they will stay married and be able to weather the storms of life. Keep Christ centered in the marriage Hectic lives, careers, and responsibilities can make us feel like we have no time left to attend church or sleep. Keeping Christ in the marriage is the first step in a long-lasting relationship. Christ should be the foundation, the cornerstone, of your union. Without Jesus, your relationship will not have a solid rock to stand on when the storms of life rage. Learn to pray together daily. Consider starting a [...]

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Finding Rest When You Struggle with Moral OCD or Religious Scrupulosity

Finding Rest When You Struggle with Moral OCD or Religious Scrupulosity

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-03-10T10:48:32+00:00March 10th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, OCD, Spiritual Development|

Am I enough? Am I doing enough? These questions can haunt you in your relationships, at work, when you’re out and about, and in the quieter moments during the night. Such questions can hit even harder when they concern your faith. What ought to be a refuge starts to feel like another cage. That is the case when a person struggles with moral OCD or religious scrupulosity. Your faith is supposed to help you draw nearer to the Lord, and it ought not be a burden or something that makes you feel distant from Him. Even if you struggle with religious scrupulosity, you may not recognize it, which might only add to your distress. It can help to understand what religious scrupulosity is, how it affects you, and how to reconnect with the Lord through a deeper, authentic faith. Religious Scrupulosity and Moral OCD Religious scrupulosity may be a new term that you haven’t heard in everyday conversation. However, if you pause and break them down, the meaning starts to become clear. to God or faith. When we say a person is scrupulous, it typically means that they are quite careful and thorough, with an extreme concern to avoid doing something wrong. Religious scrupulosity, then, is when a person is thorough, careful, and deeply concerned with getting things right when it comes to being moral or fulfilling religious obligations. A person with religious scrupulosity obsesses about moral correctness. They will often experience deep fears and doubts that they are not faithful enough to the Lord, that they are sinning, or that they are failing to meet their religious obligations in some way. One of the challenges of religious scrupulosity is that the individual feels like a failure despite their best and sincere efforts at practicing their faith. This condition [...]

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The Grieving Stages and When to Get Help

The Grieving Stages and When to Get Help

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-03-03T04:39:54+00:00March 3rd, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grieving is a normal part of the healing process. Grief happens with any loss, not just the death of a loved one. Loss can result from an eviction, job loss, a breakup or divorce, or the loss of a dream or goal. Knowing the grieving stages can help you navigate the healing process and recognize when you might need some support. The Five Grieving Stages The grieving stages consist of five stages or phases that people may experience during loss. However, everyone experiences grief differently. One person may experience each stage in order as listed below. Another individual may only experience three of the five stages, or cycle back through the grieving stages. Unfortunately, some people can experience grief that interferes with their physical and emotional health, as well as their work and relationships. The following are the five stages of grief. Shock/Denial You have trouble believing that the loss has occurred. Maybe you don’t want to think that your spouse cheated, or that your loved one passed away. You may know that an event has happened, but you are unable to process it. You walk around in a daze, managing arrangements or doing the bare minimum. Anger You have an anger boiling beneath the surface. You may show your anger or voice it to others. Everything seems tainted through this lens. You want your spouse to know how angry you are with them for leaving. You feel angry at a loved one for passing away or angry at hospice or another person. You can’t seem to control your angry outbursts, and if you can, you bottle them up until they manifest as bitterness and rage. Bargaining The bargaining stage has you questioning everything, possibly blaming yourself for the actions of others, or wallowing in regret. You might think, [...]

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The Importance of Self-Reflection and Journaling

The Importance of Self-Reflection and Journaling

Jennifer Kooshian2026-02-20T09:42:43+00:00February 20th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Do you know yourself? At face value, this may seem a ridiculous question because you’ve spent every minute of every day with yourself. However, people can go through life without a well-defined sense of identity, and it causes problems for them. A person who doesn’t know who they are will often not know what they want, they will change their mind a lot, they find themselves changing depending on their company, and they have low self-esteem. This is where journaling comes in. Knowing yourself has many benefits, which makes it a worthwhile pursuit. Self-reflection and journaling are two ways of understanding and knowing yourself better, and they are effective tools in helping you achieve better mental and emotional well-being. Why It’s Hard to Know Yourself There are many reasons why it can be hard for a person to know themselves. For instance, if a person was raised in an environment where they were neglected, over-parented, abused, overly criticized, shamed, or didn’t receive adequate encouragement, it can be difficult for them to have a strong sense of identity. We are also shaped by our society, family, the roles we are expected to play, and the influences these communities have on us as we develop. It’s possible to receive conflicting messages from media, culture, religious institutions, and more about who you should be, what values you ought to hold, and how to feel about yourself. There can be a significant push and pull going on, which can make things quite confusing. From a Christian perspective, these and other reasons often influence our self-knowledge. However, Scripture also adds the dimension that we don’t know ourselves because our hearts – the center of our will, thoughts, and emotions – are heavily compromised by what is displeasing to God, and we can deceive ourselves [...]

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