Couples Counseling

A perfect marriage does not exist. Some marriages are struggling, some are flourishing and healthy, some are dysfunctional, characterized by resentment, and some are happy. But perfect marriages – meaning marriages where there are no issues and all needs and expectations are met as desired – are quite likely an ideal that is rarely, if ever, realized. In any given marriage, there are two people with distinct personalities, needs, stresses, gifts, and abilities. Even with the best of intentions, two such imperfect people are bound to offend one another, either through what they do or what they leave undone. When that happens, the couple can deal with it in ways that bring life to the marriage, or they can address it in ways that spark anger and cause the situation to spiral further downward. Resentment is one of the sentiments that can take root in a marriage and undermine its health. Dealing with it swiftly and decisively is one of the best things you can do to help you and your spouse toward a happier marriage. What is resentment? Resentment is the feeling of anger or indignation that often results when a person is treated unfairly, taken advantage of, or emotionally wounded in any other way. It is a complex and multilayered emotion that combines disappointment, disgust, and anger. Resentment can set in after a single incident, but it often takes root after a pattern of behavior emerges. Resentment often compounds over time. When we feel resentful toward a person, it can present in a variety of ways. It could look like us pretending to be happy and smiling at them to cover our true feelings toward them, or it manifests in speaking in a sarcastic or demeaning way to or about the person we feel resentful toward. What can [...]

As a Christian, you may or may not have been offered marriage counseling before the wedding. Some pastors require premarital counseling, while others only offer their services if you encounter an issue. The problem with waiting until there is a problem is that you are not equipped to handle it, turning a minor disagreement into a major deal breaker. Seeking Christian marriage advice at any stage of your marriage can help keep the communication lines open and retain trust. Tips for the Newly Married A Christian marriage is the visible manifestation of the invisible reality of God’s love for the church. This beautiful vision comes with weighty responsibilities and challenges. How can a man and a woman come together to reflect the divine mystery? What life should they lead to tell God’s love story through their love story? The truth is, we fall short more often than we would like to admit. Amidst the busyness and demands of married life, it is easy to lose track of the beautiful vision for marriage that the Bible presents. However, married couples need not endure this crucible alone. By seeking advice for newlyweds from other married Christians or Christian counselors who can meld psychology with faith-based principles, they can increase the likelihood that they will stay married and be able to weather the storms of life. Keep Christ centered in the marriage Hectic lives, careers, and responsibilities can make us feel like we have no time left to attend church or sleep. Keeping Christ in the marriage is the first step in a long-lasting relationship. Christ should be the foundation, the cornerstone, of your union. Without Jesus, your relationship will not have a solid rock to stand on when the storms of life rage. Learn to pray together daily. Consider starting a [...]

Marriage requires teamwork. When a couple drifts apart due to conflict, differences in personality, or general busyness, it can become easier for them to become more individualistic in their marriage. The couple must work toward becoming a team to deal with whatever life throws at them. This also helps reduce the amount of conflict and the instances of divorce. Teamwork in marriage can be easier said than done. When personalities clash or two spouses are strong leadership types, it can be difficult for them to embrace teamwork. However, there are ways to increase teamwork in marriage that will celebrate their differences and embrace each other’s traits to create a strong partnership in the present and future. 5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage Here are five ways to increase teamwork in marriage: Pray One of the primary activities a Christian couple should do is pray together regularly. Even if a couple has not been used to praying with each other regularly, there’s no time like the present. In prayer, a couple can bring requests, struggles, and difficulties to God. Prayer promotes intimacy and trust in both parties as they pray for each other. When a couple acknowledges God as the Lord of their marriage, it increases the likelihood of success. God wants couples to be happy in their marriage and embrace their different roles. Although Ephesians 5 talks about the husband being the head and the woman being submissive, it also talks about the importance of submitting to Christ. When both parties submit to Christ and yield their lives to his will, they will embrace teamwork and become more united as a team. Submission is a vital element for both parties to adopt in marriage. The husband sacrificially loves the wife, the wife submits to the husband, and both submit [...]

There is a story of a man named Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army, who didn’t know that World War 2 was over. For almost three decades after the war ended, Onoda, who was stationed on Lubang Island in the Philippines, remained in his post, convinced that the war was still ongoing. He only left the island in March 1974 when his former commanding officer was flown in to facilitate Onoda’s surrender. One of the many remarkable things about this story is how the world was changing rapidly around Onoda, but he didn’t have a clue about it. Seismic changes can occur in one’s life, and it’s not always obvious to you, even though other people around you can see what’s happening. This can occur in marriage; you may have problems, but end up missing the signs that things aren’t as they should be. Different Types of Marital Problems Marital problems take various forms, and they can flow from different aspects of a relationship. Some of the more common types of marital problems that couples encounter include communication issues, a lack of intimacy or emotional disconnection, unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment and anger, financial issues, and unequal distribution of responsibilities and household chores. Marriages may also face trust issues and difficulty trusting one another due to past behaviors such as infidelity. There may also be personal differences, conflicting values, interests, or lifestyle choices that cause friction between the spouses. Lastly, there may also be unaddressed mental health issues that may be affecting the relationship and the dynamics between the couple. While these and other kinds of issues may be present in a relationship, the couple may not see these issues for what they are. That happens for a variety of reasons. How and [...]