Kate Motaung, Author at Rowlett Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

The Benefits of Post-Adoption Counseling

The Benefits of Post-Adoption Counseling

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:01:57+00:00July 31st, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Welcoming a new child into a family changes that family irrevocably, in amazing and often unforeseen ways. It’s a big decision and likely one of the most important decisions you will ever make. By the time your adopted child is officially home, you’ve filled out countless forms, had many meetings with the adoption agency, and are more than eager to start your journey as a family, so post-adoption counseling is probably furthest from your mind. Parenting, whether by adoption or otherwise, is a lifelong commitment with unique challenges that need to be overcome creatively. Every family’s adoption journey is unique, but finding post-adoption support can help you thrive as a family. That could be in the form of an adoption support group, as well as podcasts and other online resources that can help you with tips. Likewise, an adoptive family can make use of individual therapeutic counseling. Post-adoption counseling: The basics A family that’s adopted or is still considering adopting can approach a counselor with expertise and experience in family counseling services which deal particularly with adopted children. Whether your adoptive children are older or young, there are therapeutic approaches that are appropriate to different age groups, and your counselor will know how best to work with them. Your counselor may meet with the parents alone, the child alone, or the family as a whole, depending on the circumstances. The sessions would be for around an hour, and there may be several sessions depending on what is being addressed. Counseling aims to address common issues that arise in adoptive families, including understanding how to build a cohesive family and effectively parent in a loving way. Benefits of family post-adoption counseling After you’ve adopted, the journey has just begun. It can be daunting to begin the day-to-day task of parenting [...]

Comments Off

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:01:51+00:00May 23rd, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Misunderstanding creates an opening for the enemy. We hold others captive, locking them into words and actions said and done in a moment of haste. In these instances, the pain remains. It is the reality of living among other imperfect people in a flawed and fallen world. While anger is not a sin, holding anger that is not aligned with the Father’s Heart can cause more pain. This anger is too hot to handle and therefore, dangerous to our heart condition. When we hold anger, fear and pride bully us into silence. We don’t speak up to initiate the kind of heartfelt communication that leads to peace, freedom, and sometimes, reconciliation. Until our hearts find a resolution, we may nurse revenge fantasies, dreaming of opportunities to best those who injured us. Instead of affirming the personal value that was underestimated or overlooked, we seek to prove our worth. Our hearts expose that we have unknowingly created an idol by focusing more on the other person than focusing on who God has been to us and what He has done. Sometimes, we believe that we have moved on from an incident, yet we punish those closest to us for what someone else has done. The name, face, or circumstance may be different, but something familiar triggers. It keeps us entrenched in an old cycle. We lash out at those near to us now, but in truth, our anger is toward the one who first hurt us. It may seem impossible and unlikely, but forgiveness will help us to disintegrate the stronghold that unresolved anger wields. When we withhold forgiveness, we deny our freedom. We insist on being the judge of justice in a situation that elevates our pain above Jesus. In commanding us to forgive, God isn’t denying what was [...]

Comments Off

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:01:41+00:00April 18th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When the people we love are hurting, that can activate our protective instincts. We wish we could shield them from the ugliness of the world. We want to cushion them against pain. This is true whether it relates to a parent, sibling, child, friend, or other loved one. Of the various sources of pain out there, one of the most difficult to go through is a breakup. Breakups and their effects Romantic relationships can be rich and joyful experiences, but they can also be nightmares. Some relationships are unhealthy, and their drawing to a close can be considered a blessing. An example of this is when a relationship is abusive, whether that’s emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. It may be healthier for that relationship to end than to carry on. That being said, relationships are complicated, and even in the worst ones, there is some good in it. Losing that relationship is a source of grief, which can have physical, mental, and emotional effects on a person. While it may be tempting to force your friend who has just gone through a breakup to go out and have fun, remember that they are grieving. Celebrating may not be the appropriate thing in that moment. A breakup can have a wide-ranging impact on a person. Unfortunately, the thought of living without the relationship may cause some to ponder thoughts of death or suicide. The person may likewise feel worthless or like a failure. They may be distracted, have poor concentration, and little motivation to get things done or engage in what was previously enjoyable. Guilt, anger, and frustration may ravage the heart and mind of your loved one. All this emotional impact can manifest physically. Body aches, headaches, and stomach problems can begin. Your person may have changes in appetite, [...]

Comments Off

God’s Design and Desire: Couples Counseling and Relationship Issues

God’s Design and Desire: Couples Counseling and Relationship Issues

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T10:59:37+00:00March 20th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Intensives, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Conflict is inevitable. How we prepare for it and how we respond can determine how we weather interpersonal challenges. It is valuable for us to realize that the same Father who formed us as individuals in His Hand also created our spouse. They are not just our mates, but rather esteemed sons and daughters of God. Like us, they are human with complexities, existing with areas of brilliance and flaws in the same being. Couples counseling can help. Conflicts can present opportunities, as they hold the potential to bless our lives and unveil facets of the Father’s character where we are a captive audience. Unfortunately, we are not always receptive to hope, as disappointment and disenchantment have sullied anticipation for what we imagined. Sometimes, what we once desired to experience with our mate gets lost and swallowed up by schedules and rhythms of life causing relationship issues. The daily responsibilities of work and household management become more central than the God who brought us together. As a result, we lose sight, failing to see and forgetting to continue viewing our spouse through the lens of God’s love and artistry. Relationship issues revealed in couples counseling. There is hope, though when we acknowledge we are off track. Once recognized, relationship issues can be explored and resolved through prayer, mindset and behavioral changes, ongoing communication, and couples counseling. We can ask and consider that the Lord may be retooling troubles, inviting us into experiences that accomplish a greater aim. Through these challenges, we will face opposition from the enemy of our souls; but it does not eliminate God’s open door of discovery (1 Corinthians 16:9). We can ponder how the circumstance can work to draw us together, discover something new, and deepen intimacy. We can also explore the Father’s design and [...]

Comments Off

How to Forgive Someone When It Seems Impossible

How to Forgive Someone When It Seems Impossible

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:01:12+00:00January 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

As much as we would prefer it otherwise, our relationships are marked with conflict, pain, unresolved tensions, and irreconcilable differences. These may be difficult to trace to their source in some instances. In other cases, we know all too well why the relationship has suffered damage but we don't always know how to forgive. When a relationship is broken, or when another person hurts you, there are a few choices for what you can do in response. One of those choices is to forgive them. If we’re honest with ourselves, that often isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Our impulses might direct us toward getting our own back somehow, even if that’s just something we fantasize about and don’t put into action. Forgiveness is complicated and hard to offer, but it matters immensely. How to forgive: Remembering why forgiveness matters. There are several key ingredients to functional relationships. One of them is good communication and another is forgiveness. Forgiveness makes this list because it’s inevitable that we will cause injury to others that we’re close to. It could be entirely unintentional and the result of miscommunication or a misunderstanding, but it can also be deliberate. Regardless, forgiveness is an effective way to deal with that hurt. Remembering why forgiveness matters, and what forgiveness is can help motivate us toward it. A few things to consider include the following: It’s the right thing to do. From a Christian perspective, forgiveness is the right thing to do. God has forgiven us our many sins, choosing to set aside what we have done and moving toward us to bless us. That is why there are several directives to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 6: 12-15, 18: 15-35; Ephesians 4: 32; Colossians 3: 13). We are simply treating [...]

Comments Off

What to Do When You Feel Insecure: Overcoming Insecurity

What to Do When You Feel Insecure: Overcoming Insecurity

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T10:59:18+00:00November 30th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Feeling insecure, self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence can make life difficult. Sometimes, even after a significant success, a gnawing feeling undermines the sense of victory by instilling doubts about your accomplishment. You start to ask if you deserve it, whether you really are as good as the award you just received says you are, or if you really are loveable even though you’re with an amazing person who thinks the world of you. Feeling insecure can happen in any aspect of life – at work, in your relationships, or in social situations like at a party or family gathering. Being able to cope with and handle your insecurities well can help you enjoy your life and your successes more. What is insecurity and where does it come from? One way to think about insecurity is that it is a feeling that you are not good enough or that you are inadequate in a particular situation. Some of the causes of insecurity include: A recent and significant failure, rejection, or betrayal. Traumatic experiences like being bullied or body shamed that instilled negative beliefs about yourself. Experiences like abandonment and neglect can foster an insecure attachment style in relationships. Having critical parents or caregivers who undermined your confidence and set an impossible standard for you to achieve . Deep-seated perfectionism, which makes you unsure that you can ever do or be enough. Emotional dependence on or attachment to a person, then losing that relationship. General A person who experiences unpredictable upsets in daily life will tend to feel insecure about routine things. How insecurity affects you. One of the main things that insecurity does is it makes you uncertain. It will often produce anxiety in you about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations or problems. Your insecurity can [...]

Comments Off

The Value of Really Good Female Friendships

The Value of Really Good Female Friendships

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:48+00:00November 22nd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Often, when women are depicted in movies, TV shows, or other forms of media, they are shown as being in some form of rivalry with one another, usually for some sense of superiority over others or the attention of men. Even the mother-daughter relationship can become a site of struggle. It is rare to see female friendships portrayed in a favorable light. These portrayals skew one’s perceptions of women, despite the fact that they may sometimes reflect reality. Women, as much as men, are subject to the brokenness of this world and the many unhealthy behaviors that characterize human interactions. Thankfully, alongside these toxic representations of women are more wholesome depictions of relationships among women, and these also reflect reality. To be sure, our world is filled with beautiful things, but it also has hard edges and ugliness in it. This relates to our relationships, the various situations we encounter, and our experiences. Understanding and commending the value of female friendships can help women pursue not only a healthier self-understanding but healthier relationships. While toxic behavior is often promoted by being given time on our airwaves and newsfeeds, good female friendships need to be celebrated and given the spotlight. Everyone needs friends. Doing life solo is hard. The rugged individual needs community and a sense of belonging to function well. This is true when things are going well, and it is all the all the more true in difficult times. In seasons of hardship, having a network of support makes an enormous difference in how one copes. The God who created the universe and everything in it is deeply relational; one passage of Scripture says, “God is love” (1 John 4:16, NIV). God made us in His image (Genesis 1: 26-27), so it’s not surprising that we are deeply [...]

Comments Off

How to Make Sure Your Teen is Getting Adequate Rest for Mental Wellness

How to Make Sure Your Teen is Getting Adequate Rest for Mental Wellness

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T10:59:52+00:00August 29th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

When your child was younger, you may have paid a lot of attention to his or her sleep habits, making sure he or she got to bed on time, creating nighttime routines, scheduling naps, and got adequate rest. Now that your child is a teen, setting these parameters is more challenging because he or she is becoming more independent. It is thought by many teens that sleep is not important. Adults even disregard the need for sleep for their teens as teens stay up later at night. Science has shown, however, that sleep has a big impact on how people feel and on their wellness. This is especially true for teens. How much sleep do teens need? While every person is different, adequate rest for teens is between 8-10 hours of sleep per night. This is in stark contrast to what most teens get. Studies show that over 70% of teens get less than the recommended amount of sleep. This lack of sleep can impact them in more ways than being tired. It can affect their schoolwork, relationships, and mental health. It can also make it hard to make decisions, impact memory, and increase the likelihood of truancy. Ways you can help your teen get adequate rest. While your teen does play a significant role in making sure he or she gets enough sleep, there are things you can do to help promote healthy sleep habits and overall wellness. Bedroom. Make sure that his or her bedroom is cool and dark at night. This will help your teen fall asleep and stay asleep. Create a routine. While the routine will look different from when he or she was younger, your teen can create a nightly routine before bed. Simple things like taking a warm shower or bath, reading, and [...]

Comments Off

Distracted by Desire: Infidelity and Emotional Affairs

Distracted by Desire: Infidelity and Emotional Affairs

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:36+00:00August 28th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Statistics concerning divorce rates can be alarming. Most sources report that roughly half of all marriages endure. Among the other fifty percent that end, a lack of commitment and infidelity are cited as top contributors to why many couples part ways. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines infidelity as “the situation in which one partner in a marriage or intimate relationship becomes sexually or emotionally involved with a person other than the partner’s spouse.” While we can respect that description, it is important for believers in Christ to understand that adultery, like other sins, does not originate at the point of a physical or emotional exchange with another human being. Infidelity and the state of an emotional affair, however, begins in the heart (Ephesians 2:3). With unrestricted access, our adversary can influence our thoughts, emotions, and actions. He seeks to gain a foothold in our lives to build a fortress (Ephesians 4:17). For that reason, we need to establish a hedge of prayerful and practical protection around our minds, mates, and marriages. We don’t have to live in fear, but we can be active in saving our marriage before it’s threatened. In the cases where we have been distracted by desire and experienced infidelity or an emotional affair, we can recover to make our marital bond more resilient. There may be many reasons or explanations why we or our spouses sought companionship or intimacy outside of the marriage. These reasons don’t excuse infidelity or an emotional affair. Where there are gaps or unmet needs, we need to be willing to commune with our hearts and face what prompted us to seek fulfillment elsewhere (Psalm 4:4). We must also engage and be present with our spouse in honest, ongoing conversations where we demonstrate an active and compassionate response to one [...]

Comments Off

Grieving for Good: How Christian Grief Counseling Can Help

Grieving for Good: How Christian Grief Counseling Can Help

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:08+00:00January 13th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grieving can take many different forms, depending on the person experiencing it and the circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one, parent, or friend. It has the potential to be debilitating, bringing your life to a grinding halt as you try to make sense of how you feel about the passing of a person who played such a vital role in your life. On the other hand, it may come as a relief and cause for celebration that the person who was dear to you will no longer have to deal with their disease or misery. Complicated grief is a complicated collection of feelings, and it has the potential to throw us off balance and advance the mourning process in ways that we did not anticipate. This might carry on for an infinite amount of time. There is no set time frame for the grieving process; it lasts for as long as we require to go through our emotions and readjust to life without the deceased person in our lives. It may take some time before we can come to grips with the fact that we may have regrets over things that we may have left unsaid, particularly if we had unresolved issues with that person. Honoring those we have lost through grieving. The desire of the people I work with to memorialize their departed loved ones in a meaningful way is something that comes up quite frequently in our conversations. One way that people are often able to achieve closure after the loss of a loved one is by engaging in an activity that is both tangible and significant and that pays honor to the life that was lost. A bereaved person can still honor the memory of a loved one who has passed away by taking [...]

Comments Off

12 Next

Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

CONTACT INFO

Rowlett Christian Counseling

ABOUT US