Kate Motaung, Author at Rowlett Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-10-09T06:01:01+00:00October 9th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is a story of a man named Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army, who didn’t know that World War 2 was over. For almost three decades after the war ended, Onoda, who was stationed on Lubang Island in the Philippines, remained in his post, convinced that the war was still ongoing. He only left the island in March 1974 when his former commanding officer was flown in to facilitate Onoda’s surrender. One of the many remarkable things about this story is how the world was changing rapidly around Onoda, but he didn’t have a clue about it. Seismic changes can occur in one’s life, and it’s not always obvious to you, even though other people around you can see what’s happening. This can occur in marriage; you may have problems, but end up missing the signs that things aren’t as they should be. Different Types of Marital Problems Marital problems take various forms, and they can flow from different aspects of a relationship. Some of the more common types of marital problems that couples encounter include communication issues, a lack of intimacy or emotional disconnection, unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment and anger, financial issues, and unequal distribution of responsibilities and household chores. Marriages may also face trust issues and difficulty trusting one another due to past behaviors such as infidelity. There may also be personal differences, conflicting values, interests, or lifestyle choices that cause friction between the spouses. Lastly, there may also be unaddressed mental health issues that may be affecting the relationship and the dynamics between the couple. While these and other kinds of issues may be present in a relationship, the couple may not see these issues for what they are. That happens for a variety of reasons. How and [...]

Comments Off

7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-09-02T09:56:37+00:00September 2nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Trauma|

The vast majority of people will have to navigate trauma at some point in their lives, if not in themselves, then with their loved ones. Unresolved trauma lies unseen in a person, usually only becoming apparent in our adult lives as we enter serious relationships. Trauma manifests uniquely in everyone. However, some common signs of trauma can be specific to gender. Whether it is in the way they handle their emotions or in the way that they have been affected by toxic masculinity, unresolved trauma is often at the root of behavioral problems that affect and damage men’s relationships. If we want to have healthy and intimate relationships, we might have to begin addressing the unresolved trauma in our lives. Old Wounds Some traumas are ongoing and complex, causing much damage and leaving noticeable marks on a person. However, some events barely even register as traumatic. It is only later in life, when issues pop up, that we might realize we were deeply affected by trauma. The common saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is untrue; all that time does is cover the memory of the trauma. When a person experiences trauma, especially if it is ongoing trauma, they build beliefs around the traumatic events. For example, a child who is frequently left alone or ignored will begin to believe that they are unworthy of anyone’s attention and care. When a person doesn’t quite understand why they are being treated a certain way, they tend to fill in the blanks. Sometimes they do this in the most hurtful of ways, coming to the bleakest conclusions about themselves. Seven Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men When you peel back the layers, at the core of any trauma is the feeling of being unsafe. Men and boys in America are conditioned and [...]

Comments Off

Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Kate Motaung2025-05-29T09:03:20+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Boundaries are the limits that mark our responsibility in relationships, to others and for ourselves. They serve to protect our hearts, our most important asset. When we govern the core of our being well, it frees us from the destructive potential of damaging emotions and relationships. Scripture encourages us to guard our hearts, recognizing that every issue pertaining to life flows through this critical filter. The Bible on Boundaries Unquestionably, we are called to love, as it is our Father's nature. Loving God involves reciprocity. We return that love by sharing it with others. We receive His love for ourselves. That aspect of welcoming His compassion to love ourselves has not always been part of faith conversations. Yet, what causes us to excel with loving others well is the degree to which we allow the Father's love to fill us, so we can effectively pour His grace and glory. Loving ourselves well means that we acknowledge the treasure within, even as we esteem it in others. Boundaries in Action Jesus exemplified the value of boundaries. There were multitudes who followed Him, observing miracles, receiving the benefit of His mission on the earth. There were many others that He dispatched to share the message of the gospel. Whittle that down to a smaller number of followers, and you will encounter the women who supported His ministry, and His disciples. Further distilled, Peter, James, and John were in the core that He drew into closer fellowship. This picture of narrowed access and engagement reveals that even the Savior recognized the need to distinguish certain relationships. He loved everybody and came to save all, but He also exercised boundaries. He assigned position and proximity, based on the relevance to the assignment from His Father. Mind and Communicate Your Boundaries Sometimes, what flows through [...]

Comments Off

How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

Kate Motaung2025-04-19T10:48:56+00:00April 21st, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Your work, whatever it may be, matters for many reasons. Through the work you do, you provide goods and services that make other’s lives better. Your work is also an outlet for you to use the many talents and gifts the Lord has given you to serve others. Also, your work provides you with legal means to take care of yourself and your family and to be generous toward others in need (Ephesians 4:28). However, it can also be the cause of occupational burnout. Work occupies a significant portion of the average American’s life. Often, work may even threaten to spill over and take time away from family and other pursuits. It can be even harder to separate work from the rest of your life if you work from home or have a flexible schedule. One common and unfortunate occurrence connected to work is when a person experiences occupational burnout. What is occupational burnout? The word “burnout” brings to mind a match that’s fizzled out and smoking. It’s still slightly hot to the touch, but it doesn’t possess the brilliance and heat it possessed before. When a person is burned out, they’re no longer as incandescent as they used to be, not as energetic, creative, or vibrant. They don’t enjoy their work as much as they used to, and it might even feel like a burden. While people in all kinds of professions can be at risk of occupational burnout, certain professions could be exposed to greater risk. These would include people in the helping professions such as doctors, nurses, firemen, paramedics, police officers, counselors and social workers, non-profit and charity workers, teachers and educators, customer service representatives, and tech professionals. When a person experiences burnout, they feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and overwhelmed because of their work. [...]

Comments Off

The Importance of Self Reflection for Your Well Being

The Importance of Self Reflection for Your Well Being

Kate Motaung2025-04-08T16:34:31+00:00December 30th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

The philosopher Socrates is credited with having said that, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” By this, he meant that people have the capacity to think about the meaning and purpose of their lives, and doing this enables us to experience our lives and our humanity fully. We can use our minds to examine our lives, ask important questions, and try to discover the meaning of our existence in ways that other creatures in God’s creation cannot. There is a lot to be gained from taking the time and creating the space to reflect on your own life. Sometimes, we can become so caught up in doing activities that we fail to pause and ask ourselves what we are doing and why. Getting to the heart of these questions can be a huge help in our lives because it’ll support good mental and emotional health. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we provide a safe and supportive environment to help you slow down, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters. The Importance of Self-Reflection Life can just happen to us, barreling down at us at a hundred miles an hour. Our lives are busy, filled with meetings, phone calls, text messages, chores, conversations, and so much more. It’s possible to move from one thing to the next without really pausing to breath or to ask yourself important questions like, “Why am I doing this?” This is the reason why taking time to self-reflect is so important. If you don’t take the time to self-reflect, it can be easy to move through your life without thinking too much about it, and without ever pausing to see if what you’re doing is actually working well. When you take the time to self-reflect, it creates space for you to move beyond simply experiencing [...]

Comments Off

Divine Desires: Strategies for Singles to Dethrone Shame

Divine Desires: Strategies for Singles to Dethrone Shame

Kate Motaung2025-04-08T16:49:37+00:00November 29th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Movies, media, and memes have jested about the plight of the single protagonist left to the mercy of prying, though well-meaning family. Whether seated around the holiday table or enjoying a barbecue with friends and family, unmarried relatives are targeted, cornered, and interrogated. In a society that glorifies couples, tension surfaces when others offer unsolicited opinions about our romantic life as singles. Our holistic needs and concerns seem minimized in relation to those of our married counterparts. For those of us whose single life has been imposed by spousal death or divorce, extended due to education, career, or not yet finding a match, those feelings of exclusion also creep from culture into the churches where we fellowship. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we recognize the unique experiences and emotional needs of singles and offer compassionate support to help you navigate this season with hope and purpose. Our leaders may mean well, but they may not have experienced widowhood, divorce, or an extended period of singleness. They may lack empathy, insight, or feel insufficiently equipped to teach or offer programming that addresses singles’ raw needs. Outreach and events for a variety of subgroups get spotlighted, but singles are seated at the “kid’s table” of ministry, often lumped with those whose demographics and needs may vastly differ. Between later marriages and climbing divorce rates, unmarried believers comprise a significant portion of our congregations, but ministry has not necessarily adapted with the change. The church has room to grow in how it engages, disciples, and serves singles as valued and integral parts of the body of Christ. Dueling Desires For singles, navigating desire is at the core of many external and internal conversations, whether public or private, secular, or spiritual. Enter the contrasting narratives. The world clamors endlessly about sex, but by contrast, [...]

Comments Off

The Benefits of Post-Adoption Counseling

The Benefits of Post-Adoption Counseling

Kate Motaung2025-04-08T17:31:58+00:00July 31st, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Welcoming a new child into a family changes that family irrevocably, in amazing and often unforeseen ways. It’s a big decision and likely one of the most important decisions you will ever make. By the time your adopted child is officially home, you’ve filled out countless forms, had many meetings with the adoption agency, and are more than eager to start your journey as a family, so post-adoption counseling is probably furthest from your mind. Parenting, whether by adoption or otherwise, is a lifelong commitment with unique challenges that need to be overcome creatively. Every family’s adoption journey is unique, but finding post-adoption support can help you thrive as a family. That could be in the form of an adoption support group, as well as podcasts and other online resources that can help you with tips. Likewise, an adoptive family can make use of individual therapeutic counseling. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we offer compassionate, faith-based counseling tailored to the needs of adoptive families, helping you navigate this journey with strength and grace. Post-adoption counseling: The basics A family that’s adopted or is still considering adopting can approach a counselor with expertise and experience in family counseling services which deal particularly with adopted children. Whether your adoptive children are older or young, there are therapeutic approaches that are appropriate to different age groups, and your counselor will know how best to work with them. Your counselor may meet with the parents alone, the child alone, or the family as a whole, depending on the circumstances. The sessions would be for around an hour, and there may be several sessions depending on what is being addressed. Counseling aims to address common issues that arise in adoptive families, including understanding how to build a cohesive family and effectively parent in a loving [...]

Comments Off

Scripture and the Soul Compass: Navigate Your Spiritual Development Journey With God’s Word

Scripture and the Soul Compass: Navigate Your Spiritual Development Journey With God’s Word

Kate Motaung2025-04-10T05:57:25+00:00June 29th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Modern advancements in almost every arena contrast what emerged as cutting-edge just years ago. God is a brilliant thinker and He created us in His Image, also with the cognitive capacity to imagine and invent. Even as everything in our world hastens at the speed of innovation, our Creator and Father whose genius orchestrates the universe, remains the same. He is not predictable, but rather constant in character. Faithfully, He keeps the covenant established with us, His chosen and called daughters and sons. What society calls truth is ever-changing. It may not be surprising, but where our world destabilizes, tilting from one extreme to the next, only the Word of God anchors us in absolute Truth. More than an assortment of facts, the Truth is the comprehensive revelation of who Jesus is and the Word that the Father speaks. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we help individuals ground their lives in this unshakable Truth, offering biblical guidance and encouragement in a world full of shifting values. The chaos and cacophony of multiple voices bring confusion amongst personal and relative truths that vie for our attention. Yet, Jesus always beckons, welcoming us to enter rest where we rely on His consistency, clarity, and compassion to be the compass that navigates our way Home. As the Truth, God’s Word is faithful to inform our desires, decisions, and dreams. The light of Scripture will locate us and divulge where we are, but it will not leave us in dark or low places. More than a collection of words in black and red on a page or an electronic screen, the Word of God is the Person of Jesus Christ (John 1:14). We not only read about our Savior, but to a greater degree, He reads us. He reveals where we are, the destination [...]

Comments Off

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

Too Hot to Handle: Releasing Anger and Embracing Peace

Kate Motaung2025-04-10T06:32:57+00:00May 23rd, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Misunderstanding creates an opening for the enemy. We hold others captive, locking them into words and actions said and done in a moment of haste. In these instances, the pain remains. It is the reality of living among other imperfect people in a flawed and fallen world. While anger is not a sin, holding anger that is not aligned with the Father’s Heart can cause more pain. This anger is too hot to handle and therefore, dangerous to our heart condition. When we hold anger, fear and pride bully us into silence. We don’t speak up to initiate the kind of heartfelt communication that leads to peace, freedom, and sometimes, reconciliation. Until our hearts find a resolution, we may nurse revenge fantasies, dreaming of opportunities to best those who injured us. Instead of affirming the personal value that was underestimated or overlooked, we seek to prove our worth. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we help individuals ground their lives in this unshakable Truth, offering biblical guidance and encouragement in a world full of shifting values. Our hearts expose that we have unknowingly created an idol by focusing more on the other person than focusing on who God has been to us and what He has done. Sometimes, we believe that we have moved on from an incident, yet we punish those closest to us for what someone else has done. The name, face, or circumstance may be different, but something familiar triggers. It keeps us entrenched in an old cycle. We lash out at those near to us now, but in truth, our anger is toward the one who first hurt us. It may seem impossible and unlikely, but forgiveness will help us to disintegrate the stronghold that unresolved anger wields. When we withhold forgiveness, we deny our freedom. We [...]

Comments Off

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

Helping A Loved One Deal with a Breakup

Kate Motaung2025-04-10T07:00:58+00:00April 18th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When the people we love are hurting, that can activate our protective instincts. We wish we could shield them from the ugliness of the world. We want to cushion them against pain. This is true whether it relates to a parent, sibling, child, friend, or other loved one. Of the various sources of pain out there, one of the most difficult to go through is a breakup. Breakups and their effects Romantic relationships can be rich and joyful experiences, but they can also be nightmares. Some relationships are unhealthy, and their drawing to a close can be considered a blessing. An example of this is when a relationship is abusive, whether that’s emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. It may be healthier for that relationship to end than to carry on. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we provide a safe space to process relationship challenges, heal from abuse, and move forward with hope and strength rooted in faith. That being said, relationships are complicated, and even in the worst ones, there is some good in it. Losing that relationship is a source of grief, which can have physical, mental, and emotional effects on a person. While it may be tempting to force your friend who has just gone through a breakup to go out and have fun, remember that they are grieving. Celebrating may not be the appropriate thing in that moment. A breakup can have a wide-ranging impact on a person. Unfortunately, the thought of living without the relationship may cause some to ponder thoughts of death or suicide. The person may likewise feel worthless or like a failure. They may be distracted, have poor concentration, and little motivation to get things done or engage in what was previously enjoyable. Guilt, anger, and frustration may ravage the heart and mind [...]

Comments Off

12 Next

Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

CONTACT INFO

Rowlett Christian Counseling

ABOUT US