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How to Have a Healthy Attachment Style

How to Have a Healthy Attachment Style

Jennifer Kooshian2025-04-10T07:48:07+00:00December 21st, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You might have heard of “attachment parenting” or “attachment style” in everyday conversations, on social media, or in pop culture. Attachment theory has become a hot topic because it provides key insights into how caregiver relationships in childhood affect adult relationships. Keep reading to learn more about attachment theory, the four styles of attachment, and how you can move to a healthy attachment style. What is a healthy attachment style? Attachment theory provides the basis for understanding the four attachment styles. John Bowlby developed attachment theory in the mid-twentieth century. He researched how early childhood experiences affected both child development and adult behavior. Bowlby defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.” He devoted a great deal of attention and research to the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides insight and support for those seeking to understand how early attachment patterns impact current relationships, offering faith-based tools for healing and growth. Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles: 1) secure, 2) anxious, 3) avoidant, and 4) disorganized. Secure attachment involves “feelings of trust and safety in relationships” (Simply Psychology). Anxious (or anxious-insecure) attachment can outwardly manifest as insecure or stereotypically “needy” behavior. Avoidant (or avoidant-insecure) attachment often shows up as emotional disconnection and overindependence. Disorganized (or disorganized-insecure) attachment is characterized by unpredictable and inconsistent behavior, such as being loving sometimes and lashing out in anger at others. Secure attachment is the healthy attachment style. Infants and children who have their needs met by responsive caregivers usually develop secure attachment. Other life experiences can also impact how attachment styles develop. How to have a healthy attachment style. Considering your attachment style provides a first step in the right direction! Self-reflection and self-awareness are vital components of personal growth. It is more than possible [...]

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What to Do When You Feel Insecure: Overcoming Insecurity

What to Do When You Feel Insecure: Overcoming Insecurity

Kate Motaung2025-04-12T04:27:08+00:00November 30th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Feeling insecure, self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence can make life difficult. Sometimes, even after a significant success, a gnawing feeling undermines the sense of victory by instilling doubts about your accomplishment. You start to ask if you deserve it, whether you really are as good as the award you just received says you are, or if you really are loveable even though you’re with an amazing person who thinks the world of you. Feeling insecure can happen in any aspect of life – at work, in your relationships, or in social situations like at a party or family gathering. Being able to cope with and handle your insecurities well can help you enjoy your life and your successes more. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides supportive, faith-based counseling to help you build confidence, manage insecurities, and step into every area of life with greater peace and assurance. What is insecurity and where does it come from? One way to think about insecurity is that it is a feeling that you are not good enough or that you are inadequate in a particular situation. Some of the causes of insecurity include: A recent and significant failure, rejection, or betrayal. Traumatic experiences like being bullied or body shamed that instilled negative beliefs about yourself. Experiences like abandonment and neglect can foster an insecure attachment style in relationships. Having critical parents or caregivers who undermined your confidence and set an impossible standard for you to achieve . Deep-seated perfectionism, which makes you unsure that you can ever do or be enough. Emotional dependence on or attachment to a person, then losing that relationship. General A person who experiences unpredictable upsets in daily life will tend to feel insecure about routine things. How insecurity affects you. One of the main things that insecurity does [...]

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The Value of Really Good Female Friendships

The Value of Really Good Female Friendships

Kate Motaung2025-04-12T04:48:26+00:00November 22nd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Often, when women are depicted in movies, TV shows, or other forms of media, they are shown as being in some form of rivalry with one another, usually for some sense of superiority over others or the attention of men. Even the mother-daughter relationship can become a site of struggle. It is rare to see female friendships portrayed in a favorable light. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides a space where women can explore their relationships, heal from conflict, and build strong, supportive connections rooted in mutual respect and God’s design for community. These portrayals skew one’s perceptions of women, despite the fact that they may sometimes reflect reality. Women, as much as men, are subject to the brokenness of this world and the many unhealthy behaviors that characterize human interactions. Thankfully, alongside these toxic representations of women are more wholesome depictions of relationships among women, and these also reflect reality. To be sure, our world is filled with beautiful things, but it also has hard edges and ugliness in it. This relates to our relationships, the various situations we encounter, and our experiences. Understanding and commending the value of female friendships can help women pursue not only a healthier self-understanding but healthier relationships. While toxic behavior is often promoted by being given time on our airwaves and newsfeeds, good female friendships need to be celebrated and given the spotlight. Everyone needs friends. Doing life solo is hard. The rugged individual needs community and a sense of belonging to function well. This is true when things are going well, and it is all the all the more true in difficult times. In seasons of hardship, having a network of support makes an enormous difference in how one copes. The God who created the universe and everything in it is deeply relational; [...]

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How Turning to God Can Help with Emotional Eating

How Turning to God Can Help with Emotional Eating

Melissa Plantz2025-04-12T04:53:25+00:00September 21st, 2023|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We all crave something. For some people, it is fame and acknowledgment. For others, it is money and material possessions. Still, other people find that they crave food to fill them through emotional eating. But at the root of these wants, these cravings are a deep need only God can satisfy. Emotional eating is turning to food for comfort when we feel overwhelming emotions. We desperately want to drown out these feelings and thoughts, so we eat foods that give us temporary pleasure. Our brain recognizes that when we consume specific foods like simple carbs and sugar, we do it to relax. In response, the brain’s reward system floods us with chemicals that do just that – help us relax and feel good. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides guidance for understanding emotional eating patterns and offers practical, faith-based strategies to support healthier habits and emotional well-being. But emotional eating cannot replace God in our hearts, nor can it bury unresolved hurts for long without consequences. The hole in your heart needs to be filled by God, not by food. In the Bible, God warns us about overeating. There are several passages about the sin of gluttony, or uncontrollable eating. The Book of Proverbs also points out how overeating something sweet that God gave us to enjoy can make us ill. “If you find honey, eat just enough – too much of it, and you will vomit.” (Proverbs 25:16, NIV). How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! – Psalm 119:103, NIV The writer of Psalm 119 recognizes that honey is a good food as he refers to Scripture as honey, but he also knows that overeating for any reason can make a person sick. What hole in your heart are you trying to fill [...]

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How to Make Sure Your Teen is Getting Adequate Rest for Mental Wellness

How to Make Sure Your Teen is Getting Adequate Rest for Mental Wellness

Kate Motaung2025-04-12T05:06:49+00:00August 29th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

When your child was younger, you may have paid a lot of attention to his or her sleep habits, making sure he or she got to bed on time, creating nighttime routines, scheduling naps, and got adequate rest. Now that your child is a teen, setting these parameters is more challenging because he or she is becoming more independent. It is thought by many teens that sleep is not important. Adults even disregard the need for sleep for their teens as teens stay up later at night. Science has shown, however, that sleep has a big impact on how people feel and on their wellness. This is especially true for teens. How much sleep do teens need? While every person is different, adequate rest for teens is between 8-10 hours of sleep per night. This is in stark contrast to what most teens get. Studies show that over 70% of teens get less than the recommended amount of sleep. This lack of sleep can impact them in more ways than being tired. It can affect their schoolwork, relationships, and mental health. It can also make it hard to make decisions, impact memory, and increase the likelihood of truancy. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides support for teens and families to address sleep-related challenges, offering practical tools and compassionate care to promote healthier habits and emotional balance. Ways you can help your teen get adequate rest. While your teen does play a significant role in making sure he or she gets enough sleep, there are things you can do to help promote healthy sleep habits and overall wellness. Bedroom. Make sure that his or her bedroom is cool and dark at night. This will help your teen fall asleep and stay asleep. Create a routine. While the routine will look different from [...]

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Distracted by Desire: Infidelity and Emotional Affairs

Distracted by Desire: Infidelity and Emotional Affairs

Kate Motaung2025-04-12T05:30:49+00:00August 28th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Statistics concerning divorce rates can be alarming. Most sources report that roughly half of all marriages endure. Among the other fifty percent that end, a lack of commitment and infidelity are cited as top contributors to why many couples part ways. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines infidelity as “the situation in which one partner in a marriage or intimate relationship becomes sexually or emotionally involved with a person other than the partner’s spouse.” While we can respect that description, it is important for believers in Christ to understand that adultery, like other sins, does not originate at the point of a physical or emotional exchange with another human being. Infidelity and the state of an emotional affair, however, begins in the heart (Ephesians 2:3). With unrestricted access, our adversary can influence our thoughts, emotions, and actions. He seeks to gain a foothold in our lives to build a fortress (Ephesians 4:17). For that reason, we need to establish a hedge of prayerful and practical protection around our minds, mates, and marriages. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides biblically grounded support to help individuals and couples guard their hearts and relationships through prayer, wisdom, and intentional action. We don’t have to live in fear, but we can be active in saving our marriage before it’s threatened. In the cases where we have been distracted by desire and experienced infidelity or an emotional affair, we can recover to make our marital bond more resilient. There may be many reasons or explanations why we or our spouses sought companionship or intimacy outside of the marriage. These reasons don’t excuse infidelity or an emotional affair. Where there are gaps or unmet needs, we need to be willing to commune with our hearts and face what prompted us to seek fulfillment elsewhere (Psalm 4:4). We [...]

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Identifying Family Problems and Finding Solutions

Identifying Family Problems and Finding Solutions

Cyndi Kay Green2025-04-12T05:36:00+00:00June 19th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

It is no surprise that there are family problems. There is no perfection in the dynamics of a family because there are no perfect people. We all have issues and when we are growing and learning with others, there are bound to be problems. The good news is that there are ways to spot problems, create resolutions and restore balance to the home. The sooner the problem is identified, the quicker a family can work together to resolve the problem. Catching the problem before it creates an unhealthy home life takes communication and dedication. God designed the family to work together in creating a happy and healthy life. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides faith-based support to help families recognize issues early, strengthen communication, and restore harmony in the home through biblical principles and practical tools. Most common family problems He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?). – 1 Timothy 3:4-5, NASB There are numerous forms and types of family problems. These are some of the most common types of problems that most family face. Poor communication. One of the top problems that families face involves the ability to communicate effectively. Whether you are the one wondering if you are being heard or the one who doesn’t understand what is being said the issue of communication can be challenging. Parenting style differences. When parents disagree on parenting styles it can affect the entire dynamic of the household. Even if you have been together for years, there is a possibility of disagreeing about how to raise a child. Parental pressures. Raising children with the pressures of today’s society is [...]

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Children and the Grieving Process

Children and the Grieving Process

Melissa Plantz2025-04-12T06:20:39+00:00June 5th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Grief Counseling|

The grieving process for children can look very different from the way adults grieve. For example, a teen who has just lost his father may continue playing video games with his friends as if nothing has happened. This behavior can frustrate and worry his mother. Is his behavior healthy? Should he not be crying and acting depressed? In some ways, coping mechanisms for grief are healthy. Each person responds differently to the loss of a loved one. Children and teens go through the grieving process but can get stuck in one of the five stages of grief or repeatedly cycle back through the stages. Sometimes they need help and support to move through the process and begin healing. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides compassionate, faith-based care to help young people navigate grief, process their emotions, and find hope in the midst of loss. How do children react to grief? The grieving process consists of five stages: Denial or shock Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There is no set time for how long one person may stay in a particular stage. A child may cycle through the stages very quickly or get hung up in a specific stage, such as anger or depression. The depression from grief differs from the type children and teens may experience with clinical depression. Depression from grief centers on the loss and seems to come in waves, while clinical depression is a persistent sadness that centers on the person or their fears for the future. Teens Teens are at an age where they may be curious about death and accepting about the loss of a loved one. This is an age where they begin to question mortality, and the death of a loved one makes it a reality for them. However, this reality is also scary for [...]

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Aging in America: Effects of Negative Stereotypes

Aging in America: Effects of Negative Stereotypes

Sandra Stein2025-04-12T06:26:55+00:00April 30th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Aging in America can be an intimidating prospect. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, older adults are projected to outnumber children by the year 2034. Despite this evidence of an aging America, the elderly continue to be devalued and stigmatized. Some societies, such as Japan, respect their elderly and hold them in high esteem for their experience and wisdom. Old age is viewed as a normal stage of life and something to enjoy, as opposed to something to fear. In America, however, youth is valued over old age, and the word “old” tends to be a put-down loaded with negative undertones. The elderly are often diminished, subject to age discrimination in the workforce, disrespected, stripped of dignity by being addressed in condescending or patronizing ways, and regarded as unimportant and less worthy of care. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides respectful, faith-centered support for older adults, affirming their value, dignity, and continued purpose in every stage of life. Older adults are one of the only stigmatized groups that we all become part of some day. And that’s always struck me as interesting – that we would treat so poorly a group of people that we’re destined to become someday. – William Chopik, Assistant Professor of Psychology, MSU America is obsessed with youth. People want to look younger and will lie about their age. Media fuels this desire by glorifying youth and beauty, and is one of the main perpetrators of prejudice and bias against the aging in America. Mass media depicts old people as frail, slow, forgetful, less competent, and senile. Ads featuring older people often reinforce these stereotypical images and messages. They perpetuate negative attitudes toward the elderly and what they can and cannot do, or should or should not do, that are out of whack with reality. This leaves [...]

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Grieving for Good: How Christian Grief Counseling Can Help

Grieving for Good: How Christian Grief Counseling Can Help

Kate Motaung2025-04-12T06:30:05+00:00January 13th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grieving can take many different forms, depending on the person experiencing it and the circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one, parent, or friend. It has the potential to be debilitating, bringing your life to a grinding halt as you try to make sense of how you feel about the passing of a person who played such a vital role in your life. On the other hand, it may come as a relief and cause for celebration that the person who was dear to you will no longer have to deal with their disease or misery. Complicated grief is a complicated collection of feelings, and it has the potential to throw us off balance and advance the mourning process in ways that we did not anticipate. This might carry on for an infinite amount of time. There is no set time frame for the grieving process; it lasts for as long as we require to go through our emotions and readjust to life without the deceased person in our lives. It may take some time before we can come to grips with the fact that we may have regrets over things that we may have left unsaid, particularly if we had unresolved issues with that person. Rowlett Christian Counseling provides compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals process grief, work through regrets, and find peace and healing in God’s presence. Honoring those we have lost through grieving. The desire of the people I work with to memorialize their departed loved ones in a meaningful way is something that comes up quite frequently in our conversations. One way that people are often able to achieve closure after the loss of a loved one is by engaging in an activity that is both tangible and significant and that pays honor to [...]

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