Individual Counseling

The Power of the Tongue: A Weapon or a Witness?

The Power of the Tongue: A Weapon or a Witness?

Stephanie Kramer2025-09-27T08:38:14+00:00September 27th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Words are powerful. They can build people up, teach them about the Lord, and communicate love. But there is a dark side to the small but mighty tongue. Sometimes it can tear people down, separate them from the love of the Lord, and communicate hate and gossip. Most of us learn pretty early on about the power of words. Maybe you learned it through a cruel nickname that stuck longer than the memory of its origin or maybe it was a simple, but well-placed “I believe in you” that changed the direction of your whole life. The Bible doesn’t tiptoe around the truth about the words we speak. Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) says it loud and clear: “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Life or death? That’s serious business. It means every time we open our mouths (an argument could be made that our texting fingers are likewise accountable), we’re making a choice. Do we want to give someone life, or do we want to crush them? That sounds pretty dramatic, but it’s true. Remember that one time when someone said something encouraging to you when you were drowning in self-doubt? Their words were like a warm light cutting through the fog and leading you to a better place. Or maybe you still hear the voice of a critic echoing something hurtful that is hard to shake, even years later. That’s the power of the tongue. Words as Weapons Sometimes we weaponize our words without meaning to. You might be stressed, tired, or in pain and you snap. Sarcasm, criticism, gossip, blame – all of it can be deadly at the wrong moment. James 3:6 (NIV) puts it like this: “The tongue also is a fire, a world of [...]

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7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-09-02T09:56:37+00:00September 2nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Trauma|

The vast majority of people will have to navigate trauma at some point in their lives, if not in themselves, then with their loved ones. Unresolved trauma lies unseen in a person, usually only becoming apparent in our adult lives as we enter serious relationships. Trauma manifests uniquely in everyone. However, some common signs of trauma can be specific to gender. Whether it is in the way they handle their emotions or in the way that they have been affected by toxic masculinity, unresolved trauma is often at the root of behavioral problems that affect and damage men’s relationships. If we want to have healthy and intimate relationships, we might have to begin addressing the unresolved trauma in our lives. Old Wounds Some traumas are ongoing and complex, causing much damage and leaving noticeable marks on a person. However, some events barely even register as traumatic. It is only later in life, when issues pop up, that we might realize we were deeply affected by trauma. The common saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is untrue; all that time does is cover the memory of the trauma. When a person experiences trauma, especially if it is ongoing trauma, they build beliefs around the traumatic events. For example, a child who is frequently left alone or ignored will begin to believe that they are unworthy of anyone’s attention and care. When a person doesn’t quite understand why they are being treated a certain way, they tend to fill in the blanks. Sometimes they do this in the most hurtful of ways, coming to the bleakest conclusions about themselves. Seven Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men When you peel back the layers, at the core of any trauma is the feeling of being unsafe. Men and boys in America are conditioned and [...]

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Things About Grief that People Misunderstand

Things About Grief that People Misunderstand

Wade Van Staden2025-07-18T07:01:56+00:00July 18th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Even though most people will experience grief at least once in their lives, many misunderstand it. Most tend to see grief as an emotional disturbance after someone dies, one that we must try to get through so that we can have stable lives once again. This couldn’t be further from the truth. When we understand it and allow it to affect us positively, parts of us grow and change for the better. Misunderstandings About Grief Our understanding of grief is shaped by many things, such as our family’s attitude toward death, our personal experience with loss, and cultural influences. Some people fear death because they have been warned from a tender age about the existence of hell and judgment in the afterlife. Their attitude might be affected by fear. Other people have a stoic attitude toward emotional displays of any kind, so they view grief as something that must be “dealt with” so that a person can move forward in their life. It helps to examine what we believe about it, whether we are facing it ourselves or supporting someone else through it. It is not an emotion Grief is not a single emotion we experience. Rather, it is a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual response to loss. We might feel many emotions in grief, even conflicting ones. Sometimes we don’t feel any emotions, at least at first. It is a complex experience that affects each part of our own life and reaches out to affect those closest to us. It is not only about death We most commonly associate grief with the death of a loved one, but people may grieve for all manner of things. When we lose something that has deeply impacted and shaped us, we will grieve. People grieve over relationships, jobs, places they once [...]

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Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Kate Motaung2025-05-29T09:03:20+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Boundaries are the limits that mark our responsibility in relationships, to others and for ourselves. They serve to protect our hearts, our most important asset. When we govern the core of our being well, it frees us from the destructive potential of damaging emotions and relationships. Scripture encourages us to guard our hearts, recognizing that every issue pertaining to life flows through this critical filter. The Bible on Boundaries Unquestionably, we are called to love, as it is our Father's nature. Loving God involves reciprocity. We return that love by sharing it with others. We receive His love for ourselves. That aspect of welcoming His compassion to love ourselves has not always been part of faith conversations. Yet, what causes us to excel with loving others well is the degree to which we allow the Father's love to fill us, so we can effectively pour His grace and glory. Loving ourselves well means that we acknowledge the treasure within, even as we esteem it in others. Boundaries in Action Jesus exemplified the value of boundaries. There were multitudes who followed Him, observing miracles, receiving the benefit of His mission on the earth. There were many others that He dispatched to share the message of the gospel. Whittle that down to a smaller number of followers, and you will encounter the women who supported His ministry, and His disciples. Further distilled, Peter, James, and John were in the core that He drew into closer fellowship. This picture of narrowed access and engagement reveals that even the Savior recognized the need to distinguish certain relationships. He loved everybody and came to save all, but He also exercised boundaries. He assigned position and proximity, based on the relevance to the assignment from His Father. Mind and Communicate Your Boundaries Sometimes, what flows through [...]

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How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

Kate Motaung2025-04-19T10:48:56+00:00April 21st, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Your work, whatever it may be, matters for many reasons. Through the work you do, you provide goods and services that make other’s lives better. Your work is also an outlet for you to use the many talents and gifts the Lord has given you to serve others. Also, your work provides you with legal means to take care of yourself and your family and to be generous toward others in need (Ephesians 4:28). However, it can also be the cause of occupational burnout. Work occupies a significant portion of the average American’s life. Often, work may even threaten to spill over and take time away from family and other pursuits. It can be even harder to separate work from the rest of your life if you work from home or have a flexible schedule. One common and unfortunate occurrence connected to work is when a person experiences occupational burnout. What is occupational burnout? The word “burnout” brings to mind a match that’s fizzled out and smoking. It’s still slightly hot to the touch, but it doesn’t possess the brilliance and heat it possessed before. When a person is burned out, they’re no longer as incandescent as they used to be, not as energetic, creative, or vibrant. They don’t enjoy their work as much as they used to, and it might even feel like a burden. While people in all kinds of professions can be at risk of occupational burnout, certain professions could be exposed to greater risk. These would include people in the helping professions such as doctors, nurses, firemen, paramedics, police officers, counselors and social workers, non-profit and charity workers, teachers and educators, customer service representatives, and tech professionals. When a person experiences burnout, they feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and overwhelmed because of their work. [...]

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How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-11T04:48:25+00:00April 11th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Your mind is racing faster than your body can keep up, with ideas, overflowing with vision and yet, you often feel tangled and frustrated. You’ve probably had people tell you to focus, that you should concentrate on one task at a time, or that you might have ADHD. Maybe you’ve told yourself these things too. If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and you view your high energy, impulsive drive, and out-of-the-box thinking as a flaw, let me assure you that it’s not. God can use this for His glory and to benefit you and those around you. Let’s take a moment to look at some people in the Bible who exhibit some of the same traits as you do. Though the term “ADHD” didn’t exist then, certain biblical figures exhibited traits we’d recognize today as hallmarks of this condition. And guess what? God used them powerfully and to His glory. Their unique wiring wasn’t a mistake, but a part of His Master plan. Peter: Passion and Impulse Peter, one of Jesus’ closest disciples, could easily be the poster child for impulse. He’s the one who jumped out of the boat to walk on water (Matthew 14:28-29), the one who spoke up without any hesitation during the Transfiguration (Matthew 17:4), and the one who swung his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane without fully understanding the situation (John 18:10). As you can see from these examples, Peter often acted and reacted first and thought later; a classic ADHD trait. Do you think that Peter impulsively signed up for a fishing trip he was ill-prepared to take? Maybe. But Peter’s tendency to impulse was also his strength. When Jesus asked, “Who do you say I am?” it was Peter who boldly declared, “You are the Messiah, the Son of [...]

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Biblical Ways to Help Anxiety

Biblical Ways to Help Anxiety

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-08T16:06:03+00:00March 6th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety is like a storm that brews quietly. You may feel the clouds rolling in or a drizzle of rain, but you feel as helpless in controlling it as you would if it were the weather. Anxiety can steal your peace and cloud your mind. In this article, we'll look at some ways to help anxiety that align with God's Word. The Bible on Anxiety In moments of worry, we often seek refuge in fleeting things, but the Bible reminds us that true peace comes from the Lord. As Christ-followers, we are blessed with a roadmap that leads us through the valley of anxiety and into the arms of a loving Father who cares for us deeply. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we walk alongside you on this journey, helping you rediscover that peace and guiding you back to the One who holds your heart. Cast your cares on Him Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7, NIV One of the most powerful acts of faith is surrender. The weight of anxiety can be overwhelming, but we are not meant to carry it alone. Like a child placing their worries in the hands of a parent, we can offer up our fears to God, knowing that He cares for us. In moments of doubt, find a quiet place and pray; give your concerns to the Lord and trust that He hears every cry. Seek refuge in God’s promises The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God Is my rock, in whom I take refuge. – Psalm 18:2, NIV Anxiety often stirs when we feel vulnerable or out of control. But the Bible reminds us that God is our refuge, a strong tower in times of trouble. He is [...]

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Relationship Advice for Men: 9 Practical Tips

Relationship Advice for Men: 9 Practical Tips

Sandra Stein2025-04-08T16:10:20+00:00February 4th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

God did not create us to be isolated beings. We were made for community, to live life with others, and to get to know one another and to be known so we can encourage and support each other (Genesis 2:18). However because we live in a fallen world, all relationships are less than perfect and require work and commitment to thrive. Relationship advice for men is often helpful at this point. The measure of a happy, healthy relationship is not the absence of problems but rather the way inevitable problems are handled. Relationship Advice for Men: 9 Practical Tips Consider these tips that may help you be more connected and have greater harmony in your close relationships. Be intentional Good relationships take effort. Don’t take your partner for granted, pay attention to what her interests are and the kinds of things she enjoys doing, and plan your dates accordingly. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we encourage intentional connection and practical steps that strengthen your bond every day. Build on friendship Make friendship the foundation of your relationship. Instead of starting with romantic dates, look for things to do that give you a chance to get to know each other and find common ground without forcing awkward conversation. Go for a hike, visit a museum, or take an art or cooking class. Volunteer together to do something that enables you to interact with each other while doing it, such as picking up trash in a neighborhood or walking dogs for an animal shelter. Create memories together that you can cherish. Pay attention to the little things Remembering little details such as your partner’s favorite things can say more than any grand gesture because it shows her that you have been paying attention and care about the little things that make her [...]

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Gift-Giving within a Blended Family

Gift-Giving within a Blended Family

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-08T17:02:12+00:00October 14th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Gift-giving during the holidays can be particularly challenging in a blended family. With varying established traditions and expectations from different households, children can become confused and receive mixed signals. Assumptions regarding established family customs may lead to potential misunderstandings. Here are some ways to help you keep your holiday season merry, bright, and drama-free. Communication is key in gift giving To avoid potential conflicts and ensure that everyone feels appreciated, establish clear communication with your partner and the exes involved regarding gift-giving budgets and expectations. Agree upon a reasonable spending limit for each child and discuss appropriate gifts, ensuring that no one feels overlooked. Start the conversation early so you have time to decide on the proper gifts well in advance to avoid any last-minute scramble. Coordinate with your ex to prevent duplicate gifts. Many families choose to give joint gifts to children from both parents and stepparents, with separate gifts given by the other parent and their partner. If there is a particular gift that you both want to give to your child, consider giving it jointly and sharing the expense. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we help blended families navigate these kinds of conversations with grace, clarity, and mutual respect. Some families cap the number of gifts each person receives or a budget they must stay within when purchasing gifts. Be mindful that your traditions and expectations might vary from that of your new family members. It’s best to have open communication about these expectations and decide early on how to approach gift-giving in the structure of your new family dynamics. Involve the children in gift giving Involve the children in the gift-giving process by encouraging them to create their gifts or choose gifts for each other. This will develop a sense of unity and allow them to [...]

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Biblical Comfort for Trauma

Biblical Comfort for Trauma

Wade Van Staden2025-04-08T17:13:53+00:00August 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

From childhood, we are exposed to hardship and suffering. Many of us are affected in our adult lives by events and treatment we experienced as children. It is amid our anger, pain, and confusion, God offers words of comfort for trauma, as well as hope and healing. At Rowlett Christian Counseling, we walk with you through the healing process, offering Christ-centered support as you confront past wounds and move toward restoration. Comfort for Trauma Survivors The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV David had traumatic experiences well into his adult life. He wrote this particular Psalm after narrowly escaping a near-fatal situation with King Saul, a former mentor and once trusted friend. David constantly drew comfort from his connection to and understanding of God. He knew that God cared that he was suffering and that all he had to do was pour his heart out in the form of prayerful songs. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. – Isaiah 43:2, NIV God’s promise to the prophet Isaiah was not that He would be a bridge over the deep waters, but that He would be with Him beneath the waves, ensuring that he could endure them. God’s way of helping us through life is to be close to us in whatever situation we find ourselves in. If it is recovering from trauma, He gives us the inner strength to do just that. We are a little stronger and wiser when we reach the other side of that particular raging river. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7, NIV Sometimes the reason we don’t [...]

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