Individual Counseling

Ways to Help Anxiety When You Can’t Sleep

Ways to Help Anxiety When You Can’t Sleep

Stephanie Kramer2026-01-21T11:27:56+00:00January 20th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Sleeping is supposed to be one of the natural occurrences in your life, like breathing. Your body is supposed to know how to do it instinctively. Lie down, close your eyes, and drift to sleep. Right? But in the real world of frantic schedules, noisy neighbors, and a mountain of bills, sleep doesn’t always come naturally; sometimes anxiety gets in the way. Add anxiety, and you’re in for a night of turmoil. Anxiety is the enemy of a good night’s sleep. Your mind races along with your heart. And no amount of warm milk or counting sheep seems to compensate for the constant movie reel playing in your head. The one showing you what your worst fear may look like if it were really to happen (which you’ve convinced yourself will happen). Or replaying that awkward encounter you had last week. Trying to immediately overcome your battle with anxiety, a battle you’ve likely fought for a long time, isn’t practical. Not at two in the morning. Not when you have an important meeting the next day. But existing, productively, and healthily with your anxiety? Now that’s the way to a better night’s rest. What can I do about anxiety when I can't sleep? So, what can you actually do when it’s the middle of the night and your thoughts just won’t shut up and sleep is playing hard to get? Start small Start simple. Breathe like you mean it. Not deep, dramatic breaths, just steady ones. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Count them if it helps. Or whisper something calming to yourself like “This will pass,” or lean on your faith with a quick reminder that “God is in control.” Because it will pass and God is in control. Get out of bed if you [...]

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How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-01-03T06:23:09+00:00January 5th, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There aren’t any relationships quite like the relationship you have with your family. You can have “found family,” the people you gather around yourself as you make your way through life, and those relationships can be influential and life-changing. Your family, however, is that group of people you didn’t choose to be connected to, and maybe you wouldn’t ever pick them if you had the opportunity. However, it came about, family is a tie that binds. Putting it like that almost makes it seem as though families are more trouble than they’re worth, and more likely to be troublesome than not. Families are the first community we find ourselves part of, and they can be an amazing community of nurture and learning. These communities, like any other community, can be beautiful, but they can also be dysfunctional. What do you do when your family is toxic or dysfunctional? Various Ways Families May Be Dysfunctional When one or more people come together for a common cause, the door is open to issues such as unbalanced power dynamics, unhealthy communication, conflict, and personality clashes. There are different ways for a family to be dysfunctional, and each family can manifest dysfunction in its own unique way. Some common patterns of dysfunction in families include the following: Emotional dysfunction This includes issues such as emotional abuse, neglect, and placing unrealistic expectations upon family members. Abuse can take the form of belittling humor, emotional manipulation, and verbal aggression. Ignoring or being dismissive of family members’ needs is emotional neglect. Families are also spaces where excessive pressure to succeed is often placed on people. Communication breakdown Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship, and there are various ways it can break down. Dysfunction might take the form of passive-aggressive behavior, being overly critical of one [...]

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12 Unhealthy Habits to Avoid When You Stop Drinking Alcohol

12 Unhealthy Habits to Avoid When You Stop Drinking Alcohol

Grace Mavindidze2025-11-27T06:22:20+00:00November 27th, 2025|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The decision to stop drinking alcohol is an amazing step toward healing and renewal. It will bring you much more clarity, restore relationships, and allow space for God’s guidance into your daily life. Of course, it won’t always be easy. Some struggles may catch you off guard. Even everyday moments like coming home after a long day, watching others drink at a gathering, or feeling stressed and unsure of how to fill that gap, will give you some new hurdles to get over. The habits you had built around drinking, like always having a drink while watching TV or turning to alcohol for comfort, will still be drawing you in to get back to the usual. But staying sober isn’t just about avoiding alcohol; it’s about reshaping routines, leaning on faith, and making choices that support this new path. Some things that you think you should do that seem harmless might actually make it harder to stay strong. Everyday Habits That Can Make Sobriety Harder Relying too much on caffeine Switching from alcohol to coffee or energy drinks might seem like a harmless trade, but too much caffeine will only leave you more anxious, restless, and tossing and turning all night. Staying hydrated with water and herbal teas is a better way to stay clear-headed. Spending too much time watching TV Binge-watching shows may seem like an easy way to pass the time, but you’ll find yourself still skipping responsibilities, avoiding social interactions, and neglecting personal growth. Finding balance in healthy activities like reading, exercising, or connecting with others is the way to go. Constantly being online Social media can be a great entertainer, but too much of it will eventually stress you more as you expose yourself to impersonal, sometimes unrealistic stuff. Limiting screen time and focusing on [...]

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How to Communicate Better with Your Grandchildren from Afar

How to Communicate Better with Your Grandchildren from Afar

Stephanie Kramer2025-10-30T06:01:14+00:00October 30th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Who wouldn’t want to be there to see their grandchild take their first step or be on stage for their first solo? But life is complicated, and geographical distance often prevents grandparents from being as involved in their grandchildren’s lives as they would like. And while it might feel like a good idea to move closer to the grandkids, that is sometimes not an option for many practical reasons.So how do you compensate for the miles-wide chasm between you? Here are some ideas to help you stay invested and relevant in your grandchildren’s lives, even though miles may separate you.Speak Their LanguageThe generational gap is never more obvious than when an older adult tries to have a conversation with a teen. If your grandchildren are in their pre-teen or teen years, you may have noticed a few “sigmas” and “skibidis” thrown into their conversation. As confusing as these slang terms are to you, they are part of your grandchild’s generational culture. It’s important to try to understand their language, not just the slang words that come out of their mouth, but the deeper meaning behind their words.Don’t assume you know what your grandchild thinks or feels; ask them. Don’t assume their political leanings are the same as yours or even their parents. Don’t assume that they enjoy the activities they did five years ago. Learn about your grandchildren by being open-minded and humble and asking questions.While you need to set a good example for your grandchildren, you need to have an understanding of their beliefs and their respect before your opinion will impact them.Remember the Special OccasionsOf course, you don’t want to be in their life just on special occasions, but birthdays and Christmas are great times to make a connection with the grandchildren. These holidays allow you to give [...]

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The Power of the Tongue: A Weapon or a Witness?

The Power of the Tongue: A Weapon or a Witness?

Stephanie Kramer2025-09-27T08:38:14+00:00September 27th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Words are powerful. They can build people up, teach them about the Lord, and communicate love. But there is a dark side to the small but mighty tongue. Sometimes it can tear people down, separate them from the love of the Lord, and communicate hate and gossip. Most of us learn pretty early on about the power of words. Maybe you learned it through a cruel nickname that stuck longer than the memory of its origin or maybe it was a simple, but well-placed “I believe in you” that changed the direction of your whole life. The Bible doesn’t tiptoe around the truth about the words we speak. Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) says it loud and clear: “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Life or death? That’s serious business. It means every time we open our mouths (an argument could be made that our texting fingers are likewise accountable), we’re making a choice. Do we want to give someone life, or do we want to crush them? That sounds pretty dramatic, but it’s true. Remember that one time when someone said something encouraging to you when you were drowning in self-doubt? Their words were like a warm light cutting through the fog and leading you to a better place. Or maybe you still hear the voice of a critic echoing something hurtful that is hard to shake, even years later. That’s the power of the tongue. Words as Weapons Sometimes we weaponize our words without meaning to. You might be stressed, tired, or in pain and you snap. Sarcasm, criticism, gossip, blame – all of it can be deadly at the wrong moment. James 3:6 (NIV) puts it like this: “The tongue also is a fire, a world of [...]

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7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-09-02T09:56:37+00:00September 2nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Trauma|

The vast majority of people will have to navigate trauma at some point in their lives, if not in themselves, then with their loved ones. Unresolved trauma lies unseen in a person, usually only becoming apparent in our adult lives as we enter serious relationships. Trauma manifests uniquely in everyone. However, some common signs of trauma can be specific to gender. Whether it is in the way they handle their emotions or in the way that they have been affected by toxic masculinity, unresolved trauma is often at the root of behavioral problems that affect and damage men’s relationships. If we want to have healthy and intimate relationships, we might have to begin addressing the unresolved trauma in our lives. Old Wounds Some traumas are ongoing and complex, causing much damage and leaving noticeable marks on a person. However, some events barely even register as traumatic. It is only later in life, when issues pop up, that we might realize we were deeply affected by trauma. The common saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is untrue; all that time does is cover the memory of the trauma. When a person experiences trauma, especially if it is ongoing trauma, they build beliefs around the traumatic events. For example, a child who is frequently left alone or ignored will begin to believe that they are unworthy of anyone’s attention and care. When a person doesn’t quite understand why they are being treated a certain way, they tend to fill in the blanks. Sometimes they do this in the most hurtful of ways, coming to the bleakest conclusions about themselves. Seven Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men When you peel back the layers, at the core of any trauma is the feeling of being unsafe. Men and boys in America are conditioned and [...]

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Things About Grief that People Misunderstand

Things About Grief that People Misunderstand

Wade Van Staden2025-07-18T07:01:56+00:00July 18th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Even though most people will experience grief at least once in their lives, many misunderstand it. Most tend to see grief as an emotional disturbance after someone dies, one that we must try to get through so that we can have stable lives once again. This couldn’t be further from the truth. When we understand it and allow it to affect us positively, parts of us grow and change for the better. Misunderstandings About Grief Our understanding of grief is shaped by many things, such as our family’s attitude toward death, our personal experience with loss, and cultural influences. Some people fear death because they have been warned from a tender age about the existence of hell and judgment in the afterlife. Their attitude might be affected by fear. Other people have a stoic attitude toward emotional displays of any kind, so they view grief as something that must be “dealt with” so that a person can move forward in their life. It helps to examine what we believe about it, whether we are facing it ourselves or supporting someone else through it. It is not an emotion Grief is not a single emotion we experience. Rather, it is a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual response to loss. We might feel many emotions in grief, even conflicting ones. Sometimes we don’t feel any emotions, at least at first. It is a complex experience that affects each part of our own life and reaches out to affect those closest to us. It is not only about death We most commonly associate grief with the death of a loved one, but people may grieve for all manner of things. When we lose something that has deeply impacted and shaped us, we will grieve. People grieve over relationships, jobs, places they once [...]

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Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Love and Boundaries: Resetting Relationships in Real Time

Kate Motaung2025-05-29T09:03:20+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Boundaries are the limits that mark our responsibility in relationships, to others and for ourselves. They serve to protect our hearts, our most important asset. When we govern the core of our being well, it frees us from the destructive potential of damaging emotions and relationships. Scripture encourages us to guard our hearts, recognizing that every issue pertaining to life flows through this critical filter. The Bible on Boundaries Unquestionably, we are called to love, as it is our Father's nature. Loving God involves reciprocity. We return that love by sharing it with others. We receive His love for ourselves. That aspect of welcoming His compassion to love ourselves has not always been part of faith conversations. Yet, what causes us to excel with loving others well is the degree to which we allow the Father's love to fill us, so we can effectively pour His grace and glory. Loving ourselves well means that we acknowledge the treasure within, even as we esteem it in others. Boundaries in Action Jesus exemplified the value of boundaries. There were multitudes who followed Him, observing miracles, receiving the benefit of His mission on the earth. There were many others that He dispatched to share the message of the gospel. Whittle that down to a smaller number of followers, and you will encounter the women who supported His ministry, and His disciples. Further distilled, Peter, James, and John were in the core that He drew into closer fellowship. This picture of narrowed access and engagement reveals that even the Savior recognized the need to distinguish certain relationships. He loved everybody and came to save all, but He also exercised boundaries. He assigned position and proximity, based on the relevance to the assignment from His Father. Mind and Communicate Your Boundaries Sometimes, what flows through [...]

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How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

How to Avoid Occupational Burnout

Kate Motaung2025-10-31T12:35:03+00:00April 21st, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Your work, whatever it may be, matters for many reasons. Through the work you do, you provide goods and services that make other’s lives better. Your work is also an outlet for you to use the many talents and gifts the Lord has given you to serve others. Also, your work provides you with legal means to take care of yourself and your family and to be generous toward others in need (Ephesians 4:28). However, it can also be the cause of occupational burnout. Work occupies a significant portion of the average American’s life. Often, work may even threaten to spill over and take time away from family and other pursuits. It can be even harder to separate work from the rest of your life if you work from home or have a flexible schedule. One common and unfortunate occurrence connected to work is when a person experiences occupational burnout. What is occupational burnout? The word “burnout” brings to mind a match that’s fizzled out and smoking. It’s still slightly hot to the touch, but it doesn’t possess the brilliance and heat it possessed before. When a person is burned out, they’re no longer as incandescent as they used to be, not as energetic, creative, or vibrant. They don’t enjoy their work as much as they used to, and it might even feel like a burden. While people in all kinds of professions can be at risk of occupational burnout, certain professions could be exposed to greater risk. These would include people in the helping professions such as doctors, nurses, firemen, paramedics, police officers, counselors and social workers, non-profit and charity workers, teachers and educators, customer service representatives, and tech professionals. When a person experiences burnout, they feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and overwhelmed because of their work. [...]

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How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-11T04:48:25+00:00April 11th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Your mind is racing faster than your body can keep up, with ideas, overflowing with vision and yet, you often feel tangled and frustrated. You’ve probably had people tell you to focus, that you should concentrate on one task at a time, or that you might have ADHD. Maybe you’ve told yourself these things too. If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and you view your high energy, impulsive drive, and out-of-the-box thinking as a flaw, let me assure you that it’s not. God can use this for His glory and to benefit you and those around you. Let’s take a moment to look at some people in the Bible who exhibit some of the same traits as you do. Though the term “ADHD” didn’t exist then, certain biblical figures exhibited traits we’d recognize today as hallmarks of this condition. And guess what? God used them powerfully and to His glory. Their unique wiring wasn’t a mistake, but a part of His Master plan. Peter: Passion and Impulse Peter, one of Jesus’ closest disciples, could easily be the poster child for impulse. He’s the one who jumped out of the boat to walk on water (Matthew 14:28-29), the one who spoke up without any hesitation during the Transfiguration (Matthew 17:4), and the one who swung his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane without fully understanding the situation (John 18:10). As you can see from these examples, Peter often acted and reacted first and thought later; a classic ADHD trait. Do you think that Peter impulsively signed up for a fishing trip he was ill-prepared to take? Maybe. But Peter’s tendency to impulse was also his strength. When Jesus asked, “Who do you say I am?” it was Peter who boldly declared, “You are the Messiah, the Son of [...]

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