Trauma

The vast majority of people will have to navigate trauma at some point in their lives, if not in themselves, then with their loved ones. Unresolved trauma lies unseen in a person, usually only becoming apparent in our adult lives as we enter serious relationships. Trauma manifests uniquely in everyone. However, some common signs of trauma can be specific to gender. Whether it is in the way they handle their emotions or in the way that they have been affected by toxic masculinity, unresolved trauma is often at the root of behavioral problems that affect and damage men’s relationships. If we want to have healthy and intimate relationships, we might have to begin addressing the unresolved trauma in our lives. Old Wounds Some traumas are ongoing and complex, causing much damage and leaving noticeable marks on a person. However, some events barely even register as traumatic. It is only later in life, when issues pop up, that we might realize we were deeply affected by trauma. The common saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is untrue; all that time does is cover the memory of the trauma. When a person experiences trauma, especially if it is ongoing trauma, they build beliefs around the traumatic events. For example, a child who is frequently left alone or ignored will begin to believe that they are unworthy of anyone’s attention and care. When a person doesn’t quite understand why they are being treated a certain way, they tend to fill in the blanks. Sometimes they do this in the most hurtful of ways, coming to the bleakest conclusions about themselves. Seven Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men When you peel back the layers, at the core of any trauma is the feeling of being unsafe. Men and boys in America are conditioned and [...]