Kate Motaung, Author at Rowlett Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

How to Implement Sabbath in Your Busy Life

How to Implement Sabbath in Your Busy Life

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:54+00:00January 7th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Listen to this article Believers hear a lot about the importance of a Sabbath in their lives. In today’s busy world, it can be hard to find the time for the Sabbath, especially if you don’t understand just how helpful it can be. Sabbath goes beyond following a rule outlined in the Bible. It is a principle for wellness and a relationship with God. Even this, however, isn’t enough for many people. The reality is that implementing a Sabbath often feels impossible. But you can make a weekly Sabbath part of your life. But first, you need to understand it. What is Sabbath? The concept many are most familiar with is first introduced early in Genesis when the Bible describes creation. After the Bible describes the creation of the heavens and the earth, night and day, waters and sky, vegetation, sun and moon, sea creatures and birds, land animals, and finally man, all of creation is declared to be good. (Genesis 1) The first six days described are full of life, creation, and work. As we continue, something different happens: By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day, he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. – Genesis 2:2-3, NIV This is the first time we see the concept of the Sabbath in the Bible though it isn't called that. It is simply God modeling the rhythm of work and rest. The very first idea of the Sabbath wasn’t introduced with rules dictated by God. It was modeled for us in the work and the rest of God. Since most people are reading [...]

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How Love Languages Impact Relationships

How Love Languages Impact Relationships

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:01:06+00:00December 23rd, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

What kind of influence do the five love languages have on your relationships? What does it mean to speak a love language? It's been said that there are five distinct ways to show and receive affection, and figuring out which one works best for you could completely change the dynamic of your relationship. Even though you may show your significant other affection regularly, do you ever stop to consider whether or not you are conveying that affection in the manner in which they would prefer to receive it? When two people in a relationship speak different love languages to one another, even love can sometimes get lost in translation. What are the five different ways to express love? Words of affirmation, quality time spent together, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are the five different ways that people can express and receive love. People do not all express their love in the same way. Individuals also have varying preferences regarding the mode in which they are shown love. Gary Chapman, Ph.D., developed the idea of love languages in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In this book, he describes five distinct ways of communicating love, categories that he distilled from his experience in marriage counseling and linguistics. Chapman is credited with the development of the concept of love languages. According to a marriage and family therapist named Sunny Motamedi, Psy.D, “We all may relate to most of these languages, but each of us has one that speaks to us the most.” Motamedi continues, “If you and your partner can determine your primary love language and communicate with one another in that language regularly, you may [be able to] better understand each other's needs and support each other's growth.” The five love [...]

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Should I Get Married? Considerations for a Potential Partnership

Should I Get Married? Considerations for a Potential Partnership

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T10:59:44+00:00November 16th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

"Should I get married?" To borrow and paraphrase from a famed literary work, to marry or not to marry, that is the question. Like anything else, the consideration if we should get married, not simply when, is a heart matter to surrender to the Lord. However, that is not always the way that we operate when getting involved with a partner. We experience life’s rites of passage and organically connect with others in the process. Relationships form, but we don’t always ask the question of whether or not marriage is part of God’s plan for our lives. Society normalizes being in a relationship and can regard the unattached single as a novelty. Often, our families and culture socialize us into becoming part of a couple. Though well-intentioned, our loved ones may persist with questions and matchmaking attempts, as if something is deficient when we approach an age or reach an achievement milestone if we are not paired with a permanent partner. These influences filter through our subconscious, informing our emotions, and actions around the consideration of whether to marry or not. Although wise advisors shield us from misguided motives, the counsel of God’s voice speaking through His Word is the most critical response to the question, “Should I get married?” Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14, ESV Should I Get Married? Where to Start One of the first and best steps to take is to reject the pressure to decide on marriage or singleness. God has already planned out each of the days that are written about you, which should be a fact that brings comfort and relief (Psalms 139:16; Philippians 1:6). There are wise principles in His Word to embrace as you consider the [...]

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Combatting Anxiety with 7 Bible Verses About Fear

Combatting Anxiety with 7 Bible Verses About Fear

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:00+00:00July 28th, 2022|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

We are all afraid of something. Whether it be fear of the future, the unknown, illness, loss, or even what others think of us, anxiety is an inevitable part of life. In 2020 Chapman University surveyed a group of 1,035 adults in the United States to better understand the fears of the average American at that time. The survey results showed that the following circumstances are what they most commonly feared: Corrupt government officials at 79.6% People they love dying at 58.5% A loved one contracting COVID19 at 58% Widespread civil unrest at 56.5% A pandemic or major epidemic Economic collapse at 54.8% Pollution of oceans, rivers, and lakes at 50.8% Biological warfare at 49.3% Just looking at the above list, there must be a fear we each relate to. Fear is a natural part of life and is an emotion that can help protect us from harm. But when we allow fear to rule our lives and become chronic, that’s when it might be time to reevaluate. In today’s blog, we are going to explore the positive side of fear, chronic fear and its effects, Bible verses about fear and what the Word of God has to say on the subject, and two simple ways to battle fear with faith. The Positive Side of Anxiety We tend to think that being afraid makes us weak. But actually, feeling fear is completely natural and can even save our lives. The positive side of fear is often overlooked as we try to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and fight them in our own strength. But what if we chose to let the fear in a little, sit with it for a minute, as we held it up to the light of God’s loving presence? Maybe acknowledging what we fear [...]

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The Best Bible Verses for Married Life

The Best Bible Verses for Married Life

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T10:59:29+00:00July 11th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Married life can be full of blessings, but it can also be full of challenges. If you want to bless your marriage and make it stronger, you can study the best Bible verses for married life. These verses will help you both as individuals and a couple to know how God wants you to live. Bible Verses for Married Life The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18, NIV Even before sin entered the world, God called something not good. The first man, Adam, needed a helper suited for him. That's why God created Eve to be Adam’s wife, helper, friend, and lover. God wanted Adam and Eve to have a thriving relationship with each other just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in relationship with one another. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:23-24, NIV God wants us to be united as married couples as if we are one flesh. We must leave our parents and bond together to form a new family. If you are having problems with your in-laws, you can come back to these verses for perspective and guidance. Remember that this is God's design for you to separate as a couple and enjoy your life together without other family members interfering. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. – Hebrews 13:4, NIV Sex is a powerful waiting for couples to [...]

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12 Examples of Gaslighting in Relationships

12 Examples of Gaslighting in Relationships

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:20+00:00June 22nd, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article Gaslighting in relationships is a form of emotional abuse. It is a destructive and manipulative tactic by an abuser to keep a victim off balance. When someone is being gaslighted, they are persuaded to believe something patently false or to question something true. If you are regularly being gaslighted by someone, this can take an enormous toll on your psychological well-being. But you can gain help, perspective, and practical tools for overcoming this problem when you meet with a Christian counselor. How does gaslighting work? The term gaslighting comes from a play by the name gaslight which debuted in 1938 and was later turned into a film. In the original story, a man dimmed the gas lamps in increments but denied doing so to the woman. A woman's visual senses told her the lights were being dimmed, but she chose to believe the falsehood the man was telling her, and this eventually drove her crazy. An abuser uses this tactic of manipulating the truth to toy with their victim’s emotions, perception, memory, and sanity. It is a deliberate move to keep the victim under their control. But often, the abuser works in subtle ways so their insidious behavior will not be called out. Unfortunately, the subtle approach can make it difficult for the victim to know they are being gaslighted. People who use gaslighting in relationships do it to exert power over their victims. Sometimes they simply enjoy the twisted pleasure of feeling like a puppeteer over someone's life. They may also wish to gain emotional, physical, or financial power in the victim's life. 12 examples Here are several examples of gaslighting that occur in different types of relationships. 1. A man tells his wife that he loves her and had no [...]

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4 Ways to Manage Anger and Why It’s Important

4 Ways to Manage Anger and Why It’s Important

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:30+00:00June 17th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Is it difficult for you to find ways to manage anger? Does it sometimes seem like anger is managing you? You have the power to learn how to manage anger, and you can get help by meeting with a Christian counselor. Why it is Important to Manage Anger You probably already understand why it is important to manage anger. Out-of-control anger costs you much in your relationships at home, work, and other places. You may know that your anger costs you but have yet to learn how to manage it well. Still, you may seek help because your anger has caused damage and distance in your relationships. You may be able to see evidence that anger is costing you in terms of relationships. But you may not see the damage it is doing to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. In these ways, anger exacts a high price. The mental price for anger can be a lack of concentration or obsessive thoughts linked to the source of your anger. the emotional price for your anger may be an inability to empathize with others and a lack of self-control. When left untreated, anger can morph into depression, which exacts an even higher price on your mental and emotional well-being. The physical price of anger can manifest in many ways. Anger may be causing you to experience insomnia, rapid heartbeats, raised blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, immune system disorders, skin issues, weight gain or loss, and other problems. Unchecked anger can also lead to serious problems like stroke or heart disease. anger seeks an outlet, and if you do not deal with it properly, it will show up in your body. The spiritual price of anger can be a distance in your relationship with God. You may act out in anger [...]

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5 Stress Management Tips from a Christian Perspective

5 Stress Management Tips from a Christian Perspective

By Kate Motaung|2024-09-27T11:00:42+00:00June 6th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Stress management is important because daily stress exacts a heavy price on our overall health. It can cost us dearly in our work, relationships, physical health, and even spiritual wellbeing. We can all use more stress management tips to help manage our stress loads. Two Types of Stress Not all stress is bad in your life. You need some stress to push you toward meeting your goals. A little bit of stress related to a deadline can serve as a motivating factor. So, your goal should not be to eliminate this good type of stress, but cut out as much bad stress as possible. Bad stress is the kind that takes more than it gives. It is fueled by adrenaline and cortisol, hormones that work well in short-term situations but wreak havoc on our minds and bodies in the long term. We need to learn to control what we can about bad stress, so we limit its impact on us. Let’s look at a couple of examples. Some stressful situations just happen to us without our control – your car gets wrecked; you receive an unfavorable diagnosis; or a pipe freezes and bursts, flooding your house. These situations would be stressful to anyone, but your level of stress can be controlled by how intentionally you respond to these situations. You can admit that the situation causes you stress and take steps to actively manage it. Or you can allow your emotions to get out of control and cause you additional stress over the same situation. Some stressful situations can be prevented. You may be taking on more work than you can manage, spending more than your budget allows, or procrastinating your work tasks. These situations all cause stress, but they can be prevented by employing techniques of stress management. [...]

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