Divine Desires: Strategies for Singles to Dethrone Shame
Movies, media, and memes have jested about the plight of the single protagonist left to the mercy of prying, though well-meaning family. Whether seated around the holiday table or enjoying a barbecue with friends and family, unmarried relatives are targeted, cornered, and interrogated. In a society that glorifies couples, tension surfaces when others offer unsolicited opinions about our romantic life as singles. Our holistic needs and concerns seem minimized in relation to those of our married counterparts. For those of us whose single life has been imposed by spousal death or divorce, extended due to education, career, or not yet finding a match, those feelings of exclusion also creep from culture into the churches where we fellowship. Our leaders may mean well, but they may not have experienced widowhood, divorce, or an extended period of singleness. They may lack empathy, insight, or feel insufficiently equipped to teach or offer programming that addresses singles’ raw needs. Outreach and events for a variety of subgroups get spotlighted, but singles are seated at the “kid’s table” of ministry, often lumped with those whose demographics and needs may vastly differ. Between later marriages and climbing divorce rates, unmarried believers comprise a significant portion of our congregations, but ministry has not necessarily adapted with the change. The church has room to grow in how it engages, disciples, and serves singles as valued and integral parts of the body of Christ. Dueling Desires For singles, navigating desire is at the core of many external and internal conversations, whether public or private, secular, or spiritual. Enter the contrasting narratives. The world clamors endlessly about sex, but by contrast, the church seems curiously silent. We need strategies in how to walk out our single state, desiring God, and fulfillment in all the ways we are created. The [...]
