Relationship Issues Archives | Rowlett Christian Counseling

Helping Children Fit Into a Blended Family

Helping Children Fit Into a Blended Family

Melissa Plantz2026-07-03T05:59:58+00:00July 3rd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Blended families can be an adjustment, especially for children. Watching a parent remarry and then living with a new stepparent, and possibly their children, is a tough transition. Fitting into a blended family can feel impossible for a child. It takes patience, grace, and some new routines to help children adapt to a blended family. Tips for Helping Your Child Fit into a Blended Family The wedding and moving in of a new stepparent (and stepsiblings) can leave a child reeling. A blended family can take on many forms, but often includes a mother or father (who has a child or children) marrying another person, who may or may not have children of their own. Two families become one on the wedding day on paper, but the reality is that the adjustment can take much longer. Learning to overlook personality clashes, establish new rules, and form bonds will take time and patience. Be willing to do the work. It will be worth it in the end. Try to work with the ex Although your ex is probably the ex for a reason, if you can work together for the sake of your child, everyone will be better off. Whether the ex is your ex-spouse or your new partner’s ex, learning to coexist and work around schedules will help. If the ex is amenable, try to establish similar rules to keep the children in sync. For example, have a similar bedtime throughout the week for the children. Get on the same page with the new spouse If you are not on the same page with your new spouse, all your effort will feel like blowing into the wind. Discuss matters before they come up, such as discipline, punishments, rewards, rules, and boundaries. Children of different ages require different responsibilities and [...]

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Navigating Couples Counseling for Infidelity and Betrayal

Navigating Couples Counseling for Infidelity and Betrayal

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-05-19T06:12:57+00:00May 19th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is something delightful about having a romantic partner or spouse. They and their affections are all rightfully, delightfully yours. This reality can be disrupted by infidelity, and one way to try to recover what was lost is through couples counseling for infidelity. When infidelity occurs, it can feel like your world has collapsed in on itself. It’s a devastating breach of trust that shakes the foundation of a marriage. It is possible to face this painful reality with compassion, honesty, and the desire to restore the relationship where that’s possible. Couples counseling for infidelity can be an important tool in discerning where your relationship stands and in finding healing. Infidelity: What It Is and Isn’t Romantic relationships can be quite complicated in our culture and context. There are open marriages, relationships with three or more individuals in them, others who consider themselves ethically polyamorous, and more. This makes the relationship landscape difficult to navigate, and it seems to also shift the definition of infidelity. The ideal relationship in Scripture is faithfulness to one partner of the opposite sex. As there are different types of relationships out there, it’s hard to come up with one definition of infidelity that fits them all. However, it’s helpful to have something to work with. The term “infidelity” stems from the Latin word meaning “unfaithfulness,” suggesting that it involves more than merely emotional or sexual involvement with someone outside the relationship. Unfaithfulness also entails betrayal, which is a breach of trust that shatters one’s previous understanding about their partner and their union. Common forms of betrayal include hidden alcoholism, gambling, chronic deception, financial secrecy, or other concealed behaviors that violate the expectations and safety of the relationship. In many cases, the majority of the recovery work following infidelity centers not merely on the [...]

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6 Tips for Recovering from Codependency

6 Tips for Recovering from Codependency

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-05-13T06:28:45+00:00May 13th, 2026|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the most challenging things to do is to break or form a new habit because the patterns we’re already used to feel familiar, even when they aren’t helpful to us. Learning new patterns means stepping out of our comfort zone and into what might be a steep learning curve. Recovering from codependency can be understood as breaking away from a particular set of unhealthy relationship habits and moving toward emotional and mental well-being. The Need for Recovery from Codependency It takes time for a person to recover from codependency. It’s a gradual process that requires growing one’s self-awareness, finding emotional healing, and learning how to set healthy boundaries. Before we can do that, though, it’s helpful to understand what codependency is and why there’s a need to recover from it. Codependency is a term that refers to a pattern of behavior where a person’s sense of self-worth and emotional well-being are tied to, or heavily dependent upon, the needs, approval, or behaviors of others. The codependent person will often do this at their own expense, damaging their well-being and even their own sense of identity. This highlights just a few of the reasons why recovery from codependency is necessary. Constantly prioritizing others and their needs can leave a person uncertain of what they want or who they are. That loss of self-identity can be quite damaging for your well-being, because without a strong sense of self, it’s hard to make decisions, emotionally regulate yourself, and remain stable. Codependency can often keep people stuck in unhealthy relationships. These relationships can range from being imbalanced to being outright toxic. Still, the codependent individual will stay in such relationships, to their detriment. By spending an inordinate amount of time and energy on others’ needs, personal growth and well-being are stunted. [...]

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Finding Healing and Home Through Family Counseling

Finding Healing and Home Through Family Counseling

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T13:06:29+00:00May 1st, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

A family can be many things to a person. For many people, their family is where they had their most formative experiences that shaped their outlook on life. Family, for some, is a place of warmth, acceptance, growth, and freedom to learn. For others, family is none of these things, and perhaps it is more of a cautionary tale for their own lives and ambitions. Whatever your experience with family, there is no denying that family plays a role in one’s well-being, whether a positive and nurturing one or a dysfunctional one that needs self-care and unlearning of unhealthy habits. If your family has experienced some problems and is not the place of nurture and safety that you would want it to be, family counseling can be a significant help. What is family counseling? As tempting as it is to blame the teen, the dad, or the mom, there’s rarely a single “culprit” who is responsible for the problems in the family. More often, they emerge from the way everyone relates to one another over time. That’s why focusing only on one person can be inefficient and can end up costing more time, energy, and money. Family counseling offers a focused, powerful way to address the patterns at the heart of what your family is experiencing. Family counseling is a form of group psychotherapy, or group talk therapy, which is designed to help a family improve its dynamics and the relationships in the family. The goal is to uncover and address the relationship patterns that are weighing your family down. If every conflict feels like the same old fight on repeat, your family might be stuck in an unhelpful pattern. Family counseling works on the assumption that the family functions as an interdependent system, with family members interacting with [...]

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Christian Advice for Newlyweds

Christian Advice for Newlyweds

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-04-01T06:30:01+00:00April 1st, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

As a Christian, you may or may not have been offered marriage counseling before the wedding. Some pastors require premarital counseling, while others only offer their services if you encounter an issue. The problem with waiting until there is a problem is that you are not equipped to handle it, turning a minor disagreement into a major deal breaker. Seeking Christian marriage advice at any stage of your marriage can help keep the communication lines open and retain trust. Tips for the Newly Married A Christian marriage is the visible manifestation of the invisible reality of God’s love for the church. This beautiful vision comes with weighty responsibilities and challenges. How can a man and a woman come together to reflect the divine mystery? What life should they lead to tell God’s love story through their love story? The truth is, we fall short more often than we would like to admit. Amidst the busyness and demands of married life, it is easy to lose track of the beautiful vision for marriage that the Bible presents. However, married couples need not endure this crucible alone. By seeking advice for newlyweds from other married Christians or Christian counselors who can meld psychology with faith-based principles, they can increase the likelihood that they will stay married and be able to weather the storms of life. Keep Christ centered in the marriage Hectic lives, careers, and responsibilities can make us feel like we have no time left to attend church or sleep. Keeping Christ in the marriage is the first step in a long-lasting relationship. Christ should be the foundation, the cornerstone, of your union. Without Jesus, your relationship will not have a solid rock to stand on when the storms of life rage. Learn to pray together daily. Consider starting a [...]

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The Hidden Trap of Codependency in Church Small Groups

The Hidden Trap of Codependency in Church Small Groups

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-02-12T06:09:16+00:00February 12th, 2026|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Church was meant to be a place of healing and growth, but with the introduction of small groups, unhealthy codependent behavior patterns have been introduced to believers. In the confines of these small groups, there is a dynamic that can inadvertently foster patterns of codependency. Disguised as devotion and masked with good intentions, this trap lies hidden. Caring for others becomes a consuming need that fuels the desire to be needed. This creates a cycle of trying to fulfill that need and ultimately leads to exhaustion. The tension that develops between the biblical community and personal boundaries becomes a complicated dance in a struggle to know where serving ends and self-destruction begins. We were never meant to establish relationships where one person carries the burden and the other contributes nothing. However, in small groups, this imbalance shows up quite frequently and creates a facade about Christ-like love. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks that he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. – Galatians 6:2-3, NASB Recognizing Codependent Behavior Patterns in Faith Communities The issue runs deeper than a simple people-pleasing mindset. Sometimes, church environments cause unconscious reward and codependent behavior by celebrating self-sacrifice. The underlying motives aren’t examined because members feel they must take part in everything the church does. Members often prioritize the needs of others above their own, and they fear conflict at all costs. They may even derive their sense of worth from being indispensable leaders. Small groups create an atmosphere that promotes vulnerability because of their intimate nature. Members share deep personal struggles, which creates opportunities for other individuals to become emotional rescuers. These rescuers feel as though they are needed and valuable, and others learn to rely on this consistent source of [...]

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What You Should Know About Passive Aggressive Behavior

What You Should Know About Passive Aggressive Behavior

Melissa Plantz2026-01-27T05:59:15+00:00January 27th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Do you know someone who uses passive-aggressive tactics to manipulate others? There are several forms of passive-aggressive behavior, but the truth is that a deeper reason lies behind the deception and mean-spiritedness. What is passive-aggressive behavior? Passive-aggressive behavior is a common coping mechanism employed by many individuals. Unfortunately, it is not a direct way to communicate or resolve conflict. Often, these traits exacerbate the situation. You have likely observed some of the following passive-aggressive behaviors. Leaving Hateful Notes The note in the break room telling people to clean up or else, or the note on your bathroom mirror reminding you that only slobs don’t clean the sink, are examples of passive-aggression. People with passive-aggressive behaviors applaud themselves for “telling” people off through notes. Complaining to Others Grumbling or complaining to others, but never to your face, is another tactic. They may make remarks to others, even angrily or bitterly, yet only smile at you or, at least, act indifferent. Intentionally Messing Up Tasks so Others Have To Do Them Sabotaging tasks or procrastinating for so long that you have no choice but to complete the work is a passive-aggressive ploy. It may be that they are angry with you or feel overwhelmed with the tasks, but instead of expressing their displeasure, they hide out or mess things up. Giving Back-Handed Compliments People with passive-aggressive behaviors are skilled at delivering backhanded compliments, which can be vaguely insulting. They may make sarcastic remarks and then laugh them off as a joke when you confront them about it. Posting Pointed Social Media Posts Without Naming Names Another tactic is posting rude or mean things on social media, almost sounding as if they are justifiably calling someone out. However, they never tag the person and may even block that person from seeing the [...]

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How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-01-03T06:23:09+00:00January 5th, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There aren’t any relationships quite like the relationship you have with your family. You can have “found family,” the people you gather around yourself as you make your way through life, and those relationships can be influential and life-changing. Your family, however, is that group of people you didn’t choose to be connected to, and maybe you wouldn’t ever pick them if you had the opportunity. However, it came about, family is a tie that binds. Putting it like that almost makes it seem as though families are more trouble than they’re worth, and more likely to be troublesome than not. Families are the first community we find ourselves part of, and they can be an amazing community of nurture and learning. These communities, like any other community, can be beautiful, but they can also be dysfunctional. What do you do when your family is toxic or dysfunctional? Various Ways Families May Be Dysfunctional When one or more people come together for a common cause, the door is open to issues such as unbalanced power dynamics, unhealthy communication, conflict, and personality clashes. There are different ways for a family to be dysfunctional, and each family can manifest dysfunction in its own unique way. Some common patterns of dysfunction in families include the following: Emotional dysfunction This includes issues such as emotional abuse, neglect, and placing unrealistic expectations upon family members. Abuse can take the form of belittling humor, emotional manipulation, and verbal aggression. Ignoring or being dismissive of family members’ needs is emotional neglect. Families are also spaces where excessive pressure to succeed is often placed on people. Communication breakdown Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship, and there are various ways it can break down. Dysfunction might take the form of passive-aggressive behavior, being overly critical of one [...]

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5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage

5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-11-22T07:38:57+00:00November 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage requires teamwork. When a couple drifts apart due to conflict, differences in personality, or general busyness, it can become easier for them to become more individualistic in their marriage. The couple must work toward becoming a team to deal with whatever life throws at them. This also helps reduce the amount of conflict and the instances of divorce. Teamwork in marriage can be easier said than done. When personalities clash or two spouses are strong leadership types, it can be difficult for them to embrace teamwork. However, there are ways to increase teamwork in marriage that will celebrate their differences and embrace each other’s traits to create a strong partnership in the present and future. 5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage Here are five ways to increase teamwork in marriage: Pray One of the primary activities a Christian couple should do is pray together regularly. Even if a couple has not been used to praying with each other regularly, there’s no time like the present. In prayer, a couple can bring requests, struggles, and difficulties to God. Prayer promotes intimacy and trust in both parties as they pray for each other. When a couple acknowledges God as the Lord of their marriage, it increases the likelihood of success. God wants couples to be happy in their marriage and embrace their different roles. Although Ephesians 5 talks about the husband being the head and the woman being submissive, it also talks about the importance of submitting to Christ. When both parties submit to Christ and yield their lives to his will, they will embrace teamwork and become more united as a team. Submission is a vital element for both parties to adopt in marriage. The husband sacrificially loves the wife, the wife submits to the husband, and both submit [...]

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Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-10-09T06:01:01+00:00October 9th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is a story of a man named Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army, who didn’t know that World War 2 was over. For almost three decades after the war ended, Onoda, who was stationed on Lubang Island in the Philippines, remained in his post, convinced that the war was still ongoing. He only left the island in March 1974 when his former commanding officer was flown in to facilitate Onoda’s surrender. One of the many remarkable things about this story is how the world was changing rapidly around Onoda, but he didn’t have a clue about it. Seismic changes can occur in one’s life, and it’s not always obvious to you, even though other people around you can see what’s happening. This can occur in marriage; you may have problems, but end up missing the signs that things aren’t as they should be. Different Types of Marital Problems Marital problems take various forms, and they can flow from different aspects of a relationship. Some of the more common types of marital problems that couples encounter include communication issues, a lack of intimacy or emotional disconnection, unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment and anger, financial issues, and unequal distribution of responsibilities and household chores. Marriages may also face trust issues and difficulty trusting one another due to past behaviors such as infidelity. There may also be personal differences, conflicting values, interests, or lifestyle choices that cause friction between the spouses. Lastly, there may also be unaddressed mental health issues that may be affecting the relationship and the dynamics between the couple. While these and other kinds of issues may be present in a relationship, the couple may not see these issues for what they are. That happens for a variety of reasons. How and [...]

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